Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for September 26, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: FUN AT THE GUN SHOW

Two juveniles suffered minor injuries Saturday when a potential buyer at a gun show in Sandy accidentally fired a weapon he was looking at. Sandy Police Sgt. Dean Carriger said the incident at the South Towne Expo Center started when a 73-year-old man selling several guns came in contact with a 49-year-old potential buyer. The buyer was interested in a Colt .45 handgun, Carriger said. The seller had all of his weapons zip tied and the potential buyer asked him to cut the zip tie so he could further examine the gun.

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Boner Candidate #2: LET’S NOT WORRY ABOUT GLOBAL WARMING, LET’S JUST LEAVE THE PLANET.

“This Week” host George Stephanopoulos asked the former New Mexico governor about something he said in 2011, when he seemed to dismiss the growing threat of climate change.  “In billions of years, the sun is going to actually grow and encompass the Earth, right? So global warming is in our future,” Johnson, who opposes environmental regulation, said at the time.

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Boner Candidate #3: WHO REALLY DID IT?

Karl Smith (L) and Kevin Dugar who were mixed up for who committed an old murder charge. Photo: Illinois Department of Corrections (2) A Chicago man has made a stunning confession — insisting he committed a 2003 murder that his identical twin brother was thrown in prison for 13 years ago. “I’m here to confess to a crime I committed that he was wrongly accused of,” Karl Smith, 38, told a Chicago judge last week, as his identical twin, Kevin Dugar, dabbed tears from his eyes from his heavily guarded seat in the courtroom.

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Boner Candidate #4: WAIT. YOU MEAN I CAN WALK? WELL I’LL BE DARNED

A Portuguese man spent 43 years in a wheelchair because of a mistaken medical diagnosis, finally re-learning to walk only in his fifties, a newspaper reported on Sunday. When Rufino Borrego was 13, he was diagnosed by a Lisbon hospital as having incurable muscular dystrophy, the Jornal de Noticias reported. After that he used a wheelchair to get around for more than four decades — until a neurologist realised in 2010 that he in fact suffered from a different disease that weakens the muscles, myasthenia.

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Boner Candidate #5: SUSPEND THE LITTLE TROUBLE MAKER

Hazel Juco says when she saw discolored water coming from the sink at her school,  it concerned her. “I just took a picture of it. And then in my newspaper class I talked about it with them,” said Juco.  The senior at John Glenn High School also posted the picture on Facebook and Twitter, voicing complaints.

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Boner Candidate #6: OH I THOUGHT HE MOVED OUT YEARS AGO

It’s a plot twist not even Alfred Hitchcock would think of. The elderly Brooklyn woman found this month living with the skeletal remains of her son, possibly for as long as 20 years, is a legally blind hoarder who may not have even known he was there, NYPD sources said.

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