Boners

Boner Fight for February 14th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: I BRUNG MY OWN PORN.

A transient man was arrested after breaking into a business connected to a home and watching pornography before a family detained him Monday night in Van Nuys. The crime was reported at 11:24 p.m. on the 14300 block of Victory Boulevard, said Los Angeles Police Department Capt. Lillian Carranza. Alan Estrada, age 28, a transient was arrested on suspicion of residential burglary, said LAPD Detective Michael O’Connor. According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department Inmate Information Center, Estrada was booked at 1:36 a.m. Tuesday inside Van Nuys Jail and remains there on a no-bail hold. A woman discovered the man — and made the 9-1-1 call to police — when she walked downstairs from her residence into her family’s business and noticed the computer was on, O’Connor said.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: IT WAS A COUNSELING SESSION THAT TOOK A STRANGE TURN.

In the front seat of the car, police said they found quite the sight. A man was sitting in the passenger’s seat completely naked, according to a criminal complaint obtained by KDKA. The only thing he was “wearing” was the nylon rope tied around him. In the back seat of the car was George Gregory, a 61-year-old pastor at a church in West Homestead, Penn., police said. When police walked up to the vehicle, they said they could see Gregory rearranging his clothing, WPXI reports. The street was in a well-lit, residential neighborhood in Homestead, WPXI reports — which is why a neighbor had called police to report a suspicious vehicle parked outside his 3-year-old daughter’s window on Friday night around 11 p.m. As the man got on the phone with emergency responders, his wife — peering out their window — saw a man emerge from the vehicle entirely nude.

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