Two things got me through my formative years. Since I suck at all sports ever, and girls in my high school didn’t care much for the guy with a GI Joe collection, those two things were music, and late night cable TV.
My knowledge of terrible movies is extensive. It would be an absolute shame to let this knowledge go to waste. So here’s my first installment of AMAZING MOVIES FROM THE 80’s and 90’s
PRAYER OF THE ROLLERBOYS!!!
Dude, COREY FREAKING HAIM in a post apocolyptic world ruled by Nazi Rollerbladers. Corey plays the role of Griffin. Griffin delivers pizza for Pinky’s Pizza in a armored van while carrying an M-16. Because even after the world goes to hell, people still need pizza.
Seriously, the WHOLE world is messed up! You can tell with the “in movie” headlines reading “Germany Buys Poland” and “Isreal Wipes Up Northern Ireland”. But Our villain Garry Lee has a way to “Make America Great Again”.. Seriously, that line is in the movie. Buy buying up a bunch of property, making drugs, and rollerblading around in trenchcoats.
BUT WAIT! The Rollerboys get Griffin’s younger brother hooked on the street drug MIST, and Patricia Arquette recruits Griffin to go undercover and JOIN the Rollerboys! NOOOOO!!!
This movie really is terrible. But I’ll be damned if I didnt watch it this morning anyway.