Boners

Boner Candidates for March 29th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: YOUR FAULT IF YOU DIDN’T SCREAM

A judge in northern Italy has triggered outrage after setting free an alleged rapist because the victim didn’t scream. The woman said she tried to fend off her attacker, a colleague, by saying, “Stop it” and “Enough,” but didn’t cry out for help, the Washington Post reports. As a result, the judge called the woman’s account “unlikely” and said the 2011 attack “did not exist,” the BBC reports. He faulted her for not showing “adequate emotion that a violation of her person had to inspire in her.” The woman said the man forced himself on her and threatened to withhold work if she didn’t comply. She told the court that “sometimes saying no is enough,” adding that “maybe I did not use the force and violence that in reality I should have used, but that is because” the man was “too strong.” Now she faces a slander charge.

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Boner Candidate #2: NOW WAIT…. WHAT AM I FORGETTING?

D.C. police are searching for an armed robbery suspect who bolted from a convenience store with cash but forgot one thing: to pull his mask down before his face was caught on camera. The suspect entered the 7-Eleven store in Northeast D.C. just before 8 p.m. on March 21 with a gun and ordered the cashier to open the cash register, Fox 5 reported. In the surveillance video from outside the store, the suspect could be seen approaching the entrance with purpose and pulling his gun out as he walked through the doors.

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Boner Candidate #3: HERE’S ANOTHER REASON NOT TO ATTEMPT JUMPING FENCES WHILE WEARING BAGGY CLOTHES

An Arizona man got caught with his pants down after allegedly trying to burglarize a local school. A locksmith was working inside the Miles-Exploratory Learning Center in Tucson when he spotted a man trying to get into some rooms, the school district said in a statement. After spotting the locksmith, the suspect reportedly ran and tried to hop the school’s spiked fence. He failed.

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