Boners

Boner Candidates for October 26, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: CORPSES WERE AFTER ME

Described at the time as believing the city had “a conspiracy going against him,” the former mayor of Watson pleaded guilty earlier this month to breaking into the current mayor’s home in March. Joseph Mark Rongstad, 34, will be sentenced Dec. 13 on a felony charge of third-degree burglary. As part of an Oct. 10 plea agreement, additional charges of felony first-degree burglary and misdemeanor trespassing will be dismissed. Rongstad was also facing charges from February for allegedly firing a rifle through the sunroof of his truck, saying, according to court documents, that he was “trying to get away from the corpses that were after him.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I BELIEVE I’VE CRACKED THE CASE

A Brazilian forensic expert stumbled right onto his body of evidence, collapsing dead drunk onto a corpse — then bursting out laughing. The unidentified sleuth arrived at the scene, where a large crowd of gawkers were gathered around the body lying in a sandy hole. The wasted man walked toward the corpse, stumbled and fell face-down on top of the decomposed person.

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Boner Candidate #3: TOLD YA THIS WOULD HAPPEN

German police say a teenager’s attempt to frighten a group of young people by wearing a clown mask and brandishing a hammer on a Berlin street turned out very badly. Berlin police said Tuesday that a 14-year-old responded by pulling a knife and stabbing the clown, only to find that the clown was a 16-year-old acquaintance. He rendered first aid until emergency medical help could arrive Monday.

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