Boners

Boner Fight for April 12th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: YOU CAN’T ARREST SOME ONE WHO’S IN THE RIVER.

A man who told police he was just going for a “joy ride” in a city-owned golf cart was arrested Wednesday. Police arrested Ian Nathaniel Shaw, 36, of St. George, on charges of theft, failing to stop on an officer’s command and trespassing. Employees at the St. George Waste Services Department, at 2170 West Treatment Plant Rd., noticed Shaw trespassing on the property and called police during the late afternoon, according to a probable cause statement written in support of the arrest. Employees told police that Shaw began operating a city-owned golf cart at the plant. In an attempt to stop him, several employees boxed him in with other vehicles, which caused Shaw to get out of the cart and run toward an open field near the SunRiver Club House, according to the police report. As responding police circulated the area, they located Shaw walking in the Virgin River. Officers told Shaw he was being detained and to walk toward them. According to the probable cause statement, he initially refused to follow police orders before officers managed to take him into custody. When asked why he refused to follow orders, Shaw allegedly told the arresting officer that he was told by a friend that police can’t arrest somebody who’s in the river.

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Boner Candidate #2: SO 10 LAWMAKERS VOTED FOR BEASTIALITY?

The state Senate has approved a bill designed to make it clear that bestiality is illegal in Louisiana. A law on the books prohibits “crimes against nature,” but it also outlaws so-called sodomy and was ruled unconstitutional in 2003. New Orleans Senator JP Morrell says it’s important that the state has a way to arrest someone for having sex with animals. He told fellow lawmakers, “God forbid you vote against this bill, good luck explaining it.” Ten senators did vote against it. The measure does also specify that previously illegal forms of “sodomy” are no longer against the law.”Anal sexual intercourse between two human beings shall not be deemed as a crime,” part of the bill states.

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