Boners

Boner Fight for April 27, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: A LAWYER IN A HAZMAT SUIT IS NEVER A GOOD SIGN.

An Alabama lawyer is headed to prison after orchestrating a kidnapping that nearly cost his hostage a finger — and his genitals. The lawyer’s motive? It was all over $60 the victim was supposed to pay the lawyer in exchange for some tires, prosecutors said. On Thursday, a judge sentenced James William Woolley, 52, to 20 years in prison on the robbery, kidnapping and attempted murder charges that a jury convicted Woolley of last month, the Birmingham News reports. Woolley’s kidnapping plot was set into motion on Jan. 25, 2016, with some help from an accomplice. Kimberly Murphy, 33, lured the victim to her Birmingham home by promising she would return a piercing kit the victim had left there, according to prosecutors.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE COPS STARTED NOTICING A PATTERN.

After Ogden’s main courthouse was evacuated for the third time, all on subsequent Thursdays, some people wondered if police could track down a suspect just by seeing who had court hearings scheduled on those days.  Turns out, that’s pretty much what police did. Out of dozens of hearings at Ogden’s 2nd District Court on those days, only one person — Jerry Kenton Larkin — had hearings scheduled for the times the three bomb threats were called in, according to a probable cause statement. Larkin and Tonisha Chontae Lester, both 44-year-old Ogden residents, were arrested Friday and are being held without bail in Weber County Jail. Lester was booked on three counts of making a false alarm alleging an ongoing and imminent threat, a third-degree felony. Larkin is being held without bail because he missed three court appearances. He was scheduled to appear in court to address a DUI arrest in August 2017, according to online court records. Larkin’s scheduled hearing was moved back a week after each reported bomb threat. On Thursday, April 5, the first date of Larkin’s scheduled court appearance, Weber Area Dispatch received a 911 call where a woman said there was a bomb in the district court building, prompting an evacuation and search of the building. The two following Thursdays, April 12 and 19, dispatch again received calls that appeared to be from the same woman.

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