Boners

Boner Fight for April 5th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1:  PAY RAISES? WHO AUTHORIZED THAT?

The ethically challenged chief of the Environmental Protection Agency on Wednesday said he just “found out” that two longtime aides got huge raises and immediately “corrected” it. “My staff and I found out about it yesterday and I changed it,” Scott Pruitt said in an interview on Fox News. But Pruitt couldn’t identify who should be held accountable for authorizing the pay hikes. “You don’t know? You run the agency. You don’t know who did it?” Fox anchor Ed Henry asked. “I found out this yesterday and I corrected the action and we are in the process of finding out how it took place and correcting it,” Pruitt said. ​The Atlantic reported on Tuesday that Pruitt used a provision in the Safe Drinking Water Act to get around White House objections to give pay bumps to two aides who worked with him in Oklahoma, where he was attorney general.

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Boner Candidate #2: SORRY BABY, BUT YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN.

A 29-year-old man in Illinois faces several charges, including driving under the influence, after he allegedly crashed a vehicle early Monday morning and abandoned the scene, leaving his girlfriend “semi-unconscious” in the front passenger seat, police said Wednesday. Emil Nichitoi, according to the Des Plaines Police Department, was allegedly driving the vehicle around 2:20 a.m. when he crashed into a utility box and utility pole before veering off the road and into a wooded area. When responders arrived to the scene, they located a “semi-unconscious” female passenger who was buckled into her seat, police said, but “the driver was nowhere to be found.” An extensive search of the surrounding area for the driver was reportedly unsuccessful. Around 7:30 a.m., police said an individual, who was not wearing any socks, shoes or a coat and was also completely wet, was found on Wilson Lane. The area, according to the Chicago Sun Times, is across the Des Plaines River from where the incident happened.

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