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Boner Fight for April 9th, 2020

Boner Candidate #1: COVID LITTER BUGS

People are increasingly wearing gloves and masks in public, in order to protect themselves and reduce the spread of COVID-19. Apparently, though, those gloves and masks need to come with proper disposal directions. Everywhere you look in America, it seems, there are discarded gloves and masks in streets and parking lots, left behind by people who couldn’t be bothered to find a nearby trash bin. In Los Angeles, they’re scattered in parking lots of markets like Whole Foods, waiting for some already-exhausted employee to have to pick them up. They’re tossed aside in parking lots in Orlando, Florida, too. In Charlottesville, Virginia, local meteorologist David Reese found multiple pairs of gloves in the parking lot of his local Kroger. In New England, someone abandoned their gloves in a cart at Costco, leaving an employee to fish them out and sanitize the cart before it could be used again. It got so bad in New York City over the weekend, that Ryan McKenzie, a restauranteur who lives in Manhattan, began cleaning it up.

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Boner Candidate #2: WRECKED IT GOOD

A millionaire luxury car owner wrecked his $750,000 Porsche Mirage GT supercar while speeding around the deserted streets of Manhattan while allegedly high on drugs. Benjamin Chen, 33, lost control of the ultra-rare super car at 7.30 am on Tuesday and plowed into a parked car. Several stunned New Yorkers looked on as Chen tried to drive the car away despite heavy damage to the body and tires. Eventually police arrived and Chen was arrested and charged with reckless driving and driving under the influence of drugs. Chen is a wealthy luxury car enthusiasts and started the Gold Rush Rally – a luxury rally across America that is known for its accidents – and has filmed himself driving at 246mph in a Bugatti Veyron.

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