Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for August 15th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THIS MEAN-NESS OF SPIRIT IS STAGGERING

Blanding has been the epicenter of anti-Bears Ears National Monument sentiment and a hotbed for vitriol against environmentalists and the federal government promoting public land protections. A common refrain from that San Juan County community is that “outsiders” are ruining their lives and preventing them from getting good jobs. Now, unlike its southeastern Utah neighbors of Monticello and Moab, the Blanding City Council has denied a request to allow families taking in foster children to include those kids on their annual passes to use the city’s public swimming pool. Can’t be giving handouts to foster kids without giving the same benefit to everybody else. That would be giving unfair special treatment to a certain class, the City Council surmised in a public hearing last month.

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Boner Candidate #2: THOSE QUOTES MIGHT CAUSE OTHER STUDENTS TO BECOME GAY

Two gay high school students whose quotes were removed from their senior yearbook say they’re “disheartened and angry” by the “senseless censorship” behind the move. Joey Slivinski and Thomas Swartz, who recently graduated from Kearney High School in Missouri, told KCTV they submitted their senior quotes for the yearbook on time just like their other classmates — only to realize that something was amiss when they cracked open the keepsake. Without warning, school district officials had scrubbed their quotes out of concern that they could “potentially offend” other students.  “Of course I dress well, I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing,” Slivinski’s original quote read. Swartz, meanwhile, had submitted this: “If Harry Potter taught us anything, it’s that no one should have to live in the closet.”

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