Boners

Boner Fight for August 23rd, 2018

Round 1

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ANYBODY. HASN’T IT HAPPENED TO YOU?

While it’s hard to be on top of your game while you’re intoxicated, there are three rules to a successful night of heavy drinking. One, make sure you have the holy trinity on you: phone, wallet, keys. Two, don’t drive. Three, get home safely. Thomas Airlie probably thought he was in the clear when he ordered a taxi to take him to his parents’ house to sleep off a night out with the guys. He entered the residence, took his shoes off at the door, went to the kitchen to get a juice, and lay down on the couch. All was well. Except his parents did not live in that house — in Glasglow, Scotland — anymore, and they hadn’t for two years.

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Round 2

BONER CANDIDATE #2: THE CONSERVATIVE PUNDIT’S SELECTIVE MEMORY.

Commentator Tomi Lahren used an appearance on “Fox and Friends” Wednesday to declare she has “never seen a first lady be attacked like” Melania Trump has been, and that it’d be preposterous to think Fox News would have criticized former first lady Michelle Obama as vehemently. “I have never seen a first lady be attacked like this, like Melania Trump has, for the good works and the good deeds that she has done,” Lahren said, responding to a jab made on Twitter by political commentator Ana Navarro on Monday.

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