Boners

Boner Fight for August 4th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: CUCUMBER RAGE

Incensed that there were not enough cucumbers in his salad, a Pennsylvania man allegedly threatened the life of a Wendy’s employee and later sought to drive away from the fast food eatery while a police officer had his arm inside the suspect’s vehicle, according to court records. Police say that Theodore Gunderson, 58, entered the Wendy’s in Earl Township around 3:40 PM Sunday and ordered a salad. Upon receiving his grub, the 5’8”, 240-pound Gunderson “immediately caused a disturbance in the business by throwing the salad at an employee because the salad did not have enough cucumbers,” a probable cause affidavit charges. Gunderson then threatened the employee, saying, “If I had a gun or a knife you would be the first to go.” When a New Holland Police Department patrolman arrived at the restaurant, Gunderson was inside his auto. “The defendant then refused to put his window down or get out of his vehicle,” Officer Michael Specht reported.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S JUST A CONVERSATION STARTER

A Daytona Beach man is banned from Volusia County beaches for six months after the mother of a teenager told officers he was giving out a business card that read, “Sugardaddy seeking his sugarbaby.” Richard Basaraba, 73, was not charged with a crime and told police he had been passing out business cards Saturday to young females on the beach who all were older than 18. Officials are making Basaraba stay off beaches and walkovers because he gave out business cards, a violation of a Volusia County ordinance that prohibits soliciting on the beach. In an interview at his beachside condo Wednesday, Basaraba said he had no nefarious intentions toward the girls and was “devastated” by what he considers an overreaction from law enforcement. On Saturday, a 16-year-old Oviedo girl told Beach Safety Ocean Rescue officers that Basaraba approached her and two 18-year-old friends and handed one of her friends a business card that read, “Sugardaddy seeking his sugarbaby,” a report states.

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