Boners

Boner Fight for August 7th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HOO-RAY FOR JIF TIP

An alarming new product lets men seal their urethras shut before sex, supposedly in order to protect their penises and stop anything getting out. The new product, called a Jiftip, has raised concerns among health experts, who warned there is no evidence that the penis sticker is safe or effective. Jifitip is a trademarked product described as an “adhesive flexible sticker covering just the urethra for the containment of urine and semen.” The stickers, which are currently being sold in three-packs for $6, were designed to replace condoms as a more convenient and less intrusive way to cover yourself up.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE PERVY PHARMACIST

An 81-year-old pharmacist in Niagara Falls was arrested for allegedly ordering a customer to strip off her clothes before he would fill her prescriptions, local authorities said. Robert Kenzia, the long time pill dispenser at McLeod’s Pharmacy on Buffalo Avenue, was busted by local police Tuesday and charged with coercion, WKBW reported. According to the woman who complained, Kenzia told her to take off her clothes in an area where the two were alone. When she balked, she said he threatened to tell other pharmacies not to fill her prescriptions if she did not comply with his demands.

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