Alt. Rock News

Boner Fight for December 3rd, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: AND DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THAT DAMN EASTER BUNNY

A substitute teacher in Montville has landed on the naughty list after telling first-graders that Santa isn’t real. The Cedar Hill School sent a letter to parents apologizing for the holiday gaffe, which occurred on Thursday in the first-grade class. “During the course of the day, a substitute teacher apparently announced to the class that Santa was not real,” the school’s principal, Michael J. Raj, wrote in the letter provided Friday to NJ Advance Media. Raj did not identify the teacher, but said he had spoken with her “regarding her poor judgement in making this proclamation.”

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Boner Candidate #2: NEW MEXICAN OR OLD MEXICAN, YOU WILL STILL NEED A PASSPORT.

A District of Columbia clerk and a supervisor refused to accept a New Mexico man’s state driver’s license as he sought a marriage license because she and her supervisor believed New Mexico was a foreign country. Gavin Clarkson told the Las Cruces Sun-News it happened Nov. 20 at the District of Columbia Courts Marriage Bureau as he tried to apply for a marriage license. After approaching the clerk for a license and showing his New Mexico ID, Clarkson said the clerk told him he needed an international passport to get the marriage license. Clarkson said he protested to a supervisor, who also told him that he needed a foreign passport. The clerk finally concluded New Mexico was a state after Clarkson objected three times. The clerk granted the license to Clarkson and his fiancée.

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