Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for December 6th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I THINK THAT BODY BAG IS MOVING.

An Indian hospital has fired two doctors fired for mistakenly declaring a newborn baby boy dead. The baby was born at the Max Super Speciality Hospital in Shalimar Bagh, New Delhi, last Thursday but pronounced dead two hours later, the boy’s grandfather, Praveen Malik, told CNN. His mother had given birth to twins but the boy’s sister was declared stillborn. The parents were on their way to a cremation ground when they noticed “some movements” inside one of the polythene bags that the hospital gave them with the babies’ bodies. “When we opened the bag, we found the boy breathing. I was shocked. I couldn’t believe my eyes,” Malik said.

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Boner Candidate #2: DON’T TOUCH MY ARM; I’M HETEROSEXUAL.

State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe told a Democratic male colleague to stop touching his arm Tuesday during a House committee meeting because he’s heterosexual and then urged the Democrat to look to people in his own party if he wanted to touch men. “I’m a heterosexual. I have a wife. I love my wife. I don’t like men, as you might,” Metcalfe, R-Cranberry, told Rep. Matthew Bradford, D-Montgomery County, during a State Government Committee meeting. “But don’t — stop touching me all the time,” Metcalfe continued. “It’s like, keep your hands to yourself. Like if you want to touch somebody, you have people on your side of the aisle that might like it. I don’t.”

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