Boners

Boner Fight for February 22nd, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: SURE. THAT’S A REASONABLE RESPONSE TO A BITTER DIVORCE.

A Georgia woman who had recently lost her home to her ex-husband in a bitter divorce battle decided that if she couldn’t live there, nobody could. According to Fox News, Adrienne Satterly stacked up mattresses in her living room and set them ablaze. The fire quickly spread out of control, burning down her home, and damaging 19 others in her neighborhood. WSB-TV reports that Satterly set the fire and then left the house with her two cats. Authorities say she walked for over an hour to a local Walmart, where she called 911 to report the fire. Her home was one of four houses that were destroyed, while 16 others suffered damage. Luckily, only one person was injured in the massive fire. “Despite the massive property damage, only one minor injury was reported,” the Paulding Fire Department said. Police arrested Satterly, who was charged with 14 counts of first-degree arson and three counts of aggravated animal cruelty. Two dogs and one cat died as a result of the fire. Yolanda Woodland was the owner of the two dogs that died and said she is heartbroken. “I lost my two dogs, which is the hardest thing because material things can be replaced. But my dogs is my… that breaks my heart,”

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Boner Candidate #2: I JUST KNOW THEY’RE DEMOCRATS.

A Republican congresswoman from upstate New York said Wednesday that “many” people who commit mass murder turn out to be Democrats. U.S. Rep. Claudia Tenney made the remarks on Talk 1300 Radio during a discussion about calls for stricter gun control since last week’s deadly Florida high school shooting. “Yeah, well, obviously there is a lot of politics in it, and it’s interesting that so many of these people that commit the mass murders end up being Democrats, but the media doesn’t talk about that either,” Tenney told talk show host Fred Dicker. Tenney did not offer any evidence to support that statement. Democratic state Assemblyman Anthony Brindisi, who is opposing Tenney this fall, called her comments “disgusting” and “toxic” and urged her to apologize. Evan Lukaske, a spokesman for the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, said Tenney demonstrated “how completely unfit she is to serve in Congress.” In a statement Wednesday night, Tenney said her comments were taken out of context. “I am fed up with the media and liberals attempting to politicize tragedies and demonize law-abiding gun owners and conservative Americans every time there is a horrible tragedy,” she said.

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