Boners

Boner Fight for July 13th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: I HAVE SEEN THE IMPOSSIBLE.

Apparently, astounded that all black children don’t spend their time shooting hoops or exploring new avenues of committing black-on-black crime, the governor of Kentucky regurgitated a small amount of previously digested racism when he declared how surprised he was that black kids could play chess. On Tuesday, Republican Gov. Matt Bevin visited Nativity Academy at St. Boniface, a Louisville, Ky., middle school that is 86 percent black and only 1 percent white. Before entering, Gov. Bevin recorded a brief introduction for his Twitter followers. “I’m about to go in and meet the members of the West Louisville Chess Club,” he explained. “Not necessarily something you would’ve thought of when you think of this section of town.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY COULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABUSE BECAUSE THEY WERE ADULTS. I’M A DENTIST!

Over the course of the past week, multiple former Ohio State wrestlers have come forward to say they were sexually abused by former team doctor Richard Strauss during his tenure at the university, which ran from 1978 to 1998. Many of the wrestlers have also said that Republican Congressman Jim Jordan, who was an assistant coach on the OSU wrestling team from 1986 to 1994, had to have known what Strauss was up to while he was with the team. Jordan, the head of House’s ultra-conservative Freedom Caucus, has repeatedly denied that he knew about or ignored the abuse. and has personally attacked one of the accusers, Mike DiSabato. He’s already received president Tump’s support, and now he’s gotten a particularly appalling endorsement from fellow Freedom Caucus member Louis Gohmert.

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