Boners

Boner Fight for June 8th, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: THIS IS MY DAUGHTER, JESUS JOY OF THE LORD.

A B.C. couple whose religious views are too extreme even for churches and pastors and put them at odds with family, doctors, social workers and anyone else trying to help them with their daughter, have lost their battle for custody of her. The unusual child custody trial featured the couple speaking in tongues to a stuffed animal they said transmitted the word of God directly to them and refusing legal assistance because Jesus Christ — through the stuffed lion — was their lawyer, witness and judge. In November, when the girl was one, the Provincial Court of British Columbia formally declared she was in need of protection and placed her in provincial custody, a decision the parents appealed to the B.C. Supreme Court. The parents claimed the judge violated their Charter rights, discriminated against them as Christians and made procedural errors.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: THE SHERIFF IS A VINDICTIVE JERK.

A South Dakota sheriff who lost his re-election bid to his own deputy in a landslide wasted no time getting back at his former employee. One minute after polls closed, Bon Homme County Sheriff Lenny Gramkow fired Deputy Sheriff Mark Maggs, who won by 878-331. In a June 5 letter dated 7:01 p.m., moments after the Republican primary closed, Gramkow sent a biting message to Maggs in all caps. “Mark Maggs: This letter is to inform you that effective immediately you are terminated from the position of Deputy Sheriff for Bon Homme County,” Gramkow wrote. “As of this moment you are no longer an employee of Bon Homme County. Please turn in all equipment belonging to Bon Homme County by 5 p.m. on June 6, 2018.” Maggs posted a picture of the termination letter to Facebook along with the caption, “Here’s the Integrity of Lenny Gramkow.”

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