Boners

Boner Fight for March 16th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: KONNICHIWA!

Let’s all hope President Donald Trump’s next candidate for secretary of state isn’t Ryan Zinke. Because as evidenced by a stupid blunder on Thursday, diplomacy isn’t his strong suit. The incident centers around Zinke’s tone-deaf reaction to Rep. Colleen Hanabusa (D-Hawaii), whose grandfathers were incarcerated by the U.S. government during World War II for their Japanese heritage. She said one of her grandfathers, a U.S. citizen, didn’t speak about the painful experience until much later in life. Hanabusa shared the detail Thursday morning in a hearing with the interior secretary, seeking to persuade him to restore around $2 million in grant funds for organizations dedicated to preserving the memory of that ugly chapter in American history. “I believe that it is essential that we as a nation recognize our darkest moments so that we don’t have them repeat again,” Hanabusa urged Zinke. “My grandfather was born in Hawaii and is a citizen by birth,” Hanabusa noted during the hearing. Despite being a U.S. citizen, however, he was imprisoned in an Oahu camp called Honouliuli ― though the prisoners there used a different name: “jigokudani,” or “Hell’s Valley.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THE LADIES DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHOOT.

Unlike many of his fellow Republicans, Alabama State Rep. Harry Shiver doesn’t think arming school teachers is a good way to protect students. But before you celebrate his common sense, you should know his reasoning is exactly what you’d expect to hear from a conservative. He doesn’t want to arm teachers because a lot of teachers are women, and we all know how delicate they are. Most women, and women teachers in particular, “are scared of guns,” and should not be expected to carry them in classrooms, he said. “I’ve heard … that 75 percent of Republicans support it, but I was there live and in person and I know what it is like in the schools,” said Shiver. “Most women wouldn’t like to be put in that position. I know from South Alabama, they wouldn’t.” My brain hurts. He’s taking the right position for all the wrong reasons, and I’m reluctant to be grateful that his sexism guides him in the right direction.

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