Boners

Boner Fight for March 8th, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: WE GOTTA GET THEM GAYS FIRST.

House Republicans effectively killed a bill Wednesday that would prohibit child marriages in Tennessee, citing an obscure legal theory that passing the bill could deter a conservative lawyer’s case against gay marriage. The bill, sponsored by Rep. Darren Jernigan, D-Old Hickory, calls for the state to outlaw marriages where one of the parties is under 18 years of age. Jernigan, and Senate sponsor Sen. Jeff Yarbro, D-Nashville, pointed out a loophole in February that gives a judge discretion to grant marriage certificates to underage individuals with no minimum age limit. The national non-profit Unchained at Last has cited marriages in the state involving minors as young as 10 years old, but the state has disputed that figure. Jernigan and supporters of the bill contend the majority of child marriages involve a female minor and an adult male. Furthermore, supporters of the bill say these marriages face greater than average odds that the minor will be abused. But Republican lawmakers effectively killed the bill’s chances during this legislative session when House Majority Leader Glen Casada, R-Franklin, made a motion to send the proposal to summer study in the House Civil Justice Subcommittee.

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Boner Candidate #2: ADULTS MAKE THE LAWS…AND THAT’S PERHAPS THE PROBLEM

Students from Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School have earned admiration from people across the country as they’ve stepped up to advocate for gun policy reform in the wake of the deadly mass shooting at their school ― but at least one Florida lawmaker isn’t inspired by their passionate pleas for change. State Rep. Elizabeth Porter (R) on Tuesday criticized her colleagues who support the young activists. “We’ve been told that we need to listen to the children and do what the children ask,” she said during a state House debate. “Are there any children on this floor? Are there any children making laws?”  “Do we allow the children to tell us that we should pass a law that says ’no homework’? Or you finish high school at the age of 12 just because they want it so? No,” she added. “The adults make the laws because we have the age, we has [sic] the wisdom, and we have the experience. Meanwhile, college students participated in a “die-in” anti-gun protest at the state’s Capitol Rotunda. Some held signs that said, “No armed teachers.” The Florida state Senate passed a bill on Monday that would allow school staff, excluding most teachers, to carry firearms. It would also establish a mental health program for schools, raise the legal age for firearm purchases to 21 and introduce a three-day waiting period for such sales.

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