Boners

Boner Fight for May 24th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: THEY WERE LIBERAL TRENDIES

Alex Jones, head of the conspiracy-theory-laden website Infowars, seemed to criticize the victims of the horrific attack in Manchester, England, that left 22 people dead, including children as young as 8 years old. The Islamic State militant group, also known as ISIS, has claimed responsibility for the apparent suicide bombing outside of Manchester Arena.  Jones related the attack to President Donald Trump’s recent visit to Saudi Arabia. “And less than 24 hours after President Trump finishes that speech, a big bomb goes off at a pop star’s rock concert bombing a bunch of liberal trendies,” Jones said in a video posted to YouTube. “The same people, god love ’em, on average who are promoting open borders, bringing Islamists in.”

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Boner Candidate #2: YEWEEEEEEE

Police are searching for a creep accused of hurling semen on women in Portland supermarkets. The man allegedly follows female customers around grocery stores, throws semen on them and then walks away, according to news station KIRO. One victim said that he threw bodily fluid at her twice — once in the store and another time in the parking lot. “It’s creepy. I think you’re in disbelief,” the victim, who didn’t want to be identified, told news station KGW-TV. “Is this really happening? It’s disgusting, who would do this? And then it goes through your mind, was he watching me this whole time?”

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