Boners

Boner Fight for May 2nd, 2018

BONER CANDIDATE #1: HOW MUCH IS THAT DOGGIE IN THE WINDOW?

New York • A veterinarian pleaded not guilty on Tuesday to U.S. charges that he turned puppies into drug couriers for a Colombian trafficking ring by stitching packets of liquid heroin into their bodies. Andres Lopez Elorza appeared in federal court in Brooklyn after being extradited from Spain, where he was arrested in 2015 on a U.S. warrant. He was ordered held without bail. Lopez Elorza, 38, who also goes by Lopez Elorez, became a fugitive in 2005 when authorities arrested about two dozen suspected traffickers in Colombia. Before he fled, the defendant had “gained some notoriety” from accusations that he was part of a barbaric scheme that turned an undetermined number of puppies and dogs into “animal couriers” by stitching packets of liquid heroin into their bodies, Assistant U.S. Attorney Nathan Reilly told a magistrate judge on Tuesday. It is believed that the dogs were sent on commercial flights to New York City, where the drugs were cut out of them, authorities said. Investigators believe the puppies would have died in the process, but it was unknown how many were involved.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: WE’LL TELL THE COPS HE HAS A GUN.

An elementary school principal in Houston is being criticized after she reportedly joked about telling police that a black special-needs student brought a gun to the school. On April 17, Shanna Swearingen, the principal at Ponderosa Elementary School, made made joke to three staff members. The boy has had behavioral problems and has been known to run from class, according to The Houston Chronicle. Swearingen reportedly told the staff members that the next time that happened, “We won’t chase him. We will call the police and tell them he has a gun so they can come faster.” The comments came to light on a Facebook group dedicated to the school, angering parents. “It’s disgusting … That kind of comment is disgusting. Even if it was a joke, how could you even recant something like that?” parent Jessica Spoonemore told Houston TV station KPRC. “Children are getting killed [by] guns, violence … That was very unnecessary and disturbing, especially for an elementary school.”

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