Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for November 21st, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: FUST BECAUSE THE FAA CAN’T STOP YOU DOESN’T MEAN YOU SHOULD DO IT.

The annual, reasonably disgraceful tradition of an “anonymous” pilot dropping live turkeys from hundreds of feet in the air in Yellville, Arkansas, continued this fall, with several birds dropped on Oct. 14. The FAA said then they were looking into it, but it conceded to HuffPost on Saturday that there was nothing they could do to stop it. Officials say the event, which is known locally as the “turkey drop,” is out of their control, because the pilot doesn’t appear to be breaking any state or local laws. The FAA told HuffPost they examined their own statutes relating to the matter and came to the same conclusion. From HuffPost: The FAA spokesman explained to HuffPost that the agency has no power when it comes to animal welfare issues. “Our regulations only cover ‘objects,’ and specify that they can be dropped from aircraft as long as they don’t pose a danger to people or property on the ground,” he said. “In this case, investigators determined that the pilot did not violate FAA safety regulations because the turkeys were dropped over a creek and a park, well away from crowds at the festival.” The turkey drop has been happening for at least 50 years; according to The Baxter Bulletin, twelve turkeys were dropped in 2016, with two, “failing to slow their descent and dying upon impact.”

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Boner Candidate #2: YOU GOTTA TRAIN ‘EM EARLY.

Police say a 9-year-old girl was used to smuggle drugs into a Vermont prison. Vermont State Police say one of three people who’ve been charged showed the girl how to slip drugs enclosed in cellophane wrap to an inmate during visitation on Sept. 10 at the Northern State Correctional Facility in Newport. The Caledonian-Record reports that Newport resident Sarah Watson pleaded guilty Tuesday to charges including drug possession and delinquency of a minor. Authorities say inmate Chad Paquette was the recipient, and he pleaded guilty to drug possession. A state police affidavit indicates Paquette swallowed a baggie that was later recovered. It contained strips of an opioid, Buprenorphine. Officials say inmate Jason Watson orchestrated the deal. He has pleaded not guilty to conspiracy.

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