Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for October 18th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: WHEN YOU GOTTA GO, YOU GOTTA GO.

A New Jersey man is suing United Airlines, claiming he was urinated on by a heavily intoxicated passenger sitting next to him. Daniel Card was on flight 1871 back home from Los Angeles when he says an extremely drunk passenger boarded the flight and sat next to him. As the cross-country flight prepared for takeoff to Newark Airport, Card alleges in the suit, filed on Wednesday, that the inebriated man next to him in row 24 “took out his penis and aimed it at Card and proceeded to urinate all over Card’s leg, while Card was confined to his seat due to an imminent departure of the flight.” Card said he tried to wake up the passed out passenger, who smelled strongly of alcohol, but could not. He then alerted the airline crew, who according to the suit, “refused [his] request to relocate his seat.” After several requests, Card says he was finally moved from the urine-soaked seat, but was “forced to endure the remainder of the flight to Newark/New Jersey while remaining in his urine drenched clothing.”

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Boner Candidate #2: A DEAL IS A DEAL, EVEN IN DEATH.

A North Carolina couple is experiencing a second heartbreak after their 5-year-old son’s grave marker was repossessed by the manufacturer over payment dispute. The boy, Jake Leatherman, died nearly a year ago after a battle with leukemia. His funeral became national news when NASCAR racers Joey Logano, Matt DiBenedetto, Ryan Ellis J.J. Yeley and crew members from the teams of Kyle Busch, Aric Almirola, Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. attended. But when Jake’s mother, Crystal, recently went to visit her sons grave, the stone was gone, she told WBTV on Monday. “He repossessed it, like it was a car,” she said. The manufacturer of the monument, the Rev. J.C. Shoaf, said the family did pay in full for a stone, but made several changes, which added up to a larger bill.

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