Boner of the Day

Boner Fight for September 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: DOES THE A.G. UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF IRONY?

Attorney General Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III visited the Georgetown University Law Center in Washington, D.C. today in order to give a lecture on Freedom of Speech. The attorney general–or perhaps the law school administration–has a somewhat picayune concept of that notion, however, as over 100 student protesters were barred from attending the event. Those students had initially signed up for the event, and then received invites, only to later have those invitations revoked. Law student Greyson Wallis spoke to the Washington Post about the dis-invitation. She said: “It seemed like they were rescinding those invites because they didn’t want any sort of hostile environment, and I can understand not wanting to have a violent environment, but that’s not at all what we were trying to do. We’re law students. We all just wanted to hear what he had to say and let him know where we differ from his opinions.”

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Boner Candidate #2: I NEED THE “CONE OF SILENCE”

The Environmental Protection Agency is spending nearly $25,000 to build a soundproof communications booth in Administrator Scott Pruitt’s office, according to media reports. The Washington Post first reported details of the contract on Tuesday evening, which will cost the government $24,570. The “privacy booth” will be installed by Oct. 9, so Pruitt can have “a secured communication area in the administrator’s office so secured calls can be received and made,” EPA spokeswoman Liz Bowman told the Post in a statement. “Federal agencies need to have one of these so that secured communications, not subject to hacking from the outside, can be held,” Bowman continued. “This is something which a number, if not all, cabinet offices have and EPA needs to have updated.”

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