Boners

Boner Fight May 3rd, 2018

Boner Candidate #1: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT…YOU CAN COVER UP WITH YOUR SCHOOL SWEATSHIRT.

The school system is now allowing girls to tie their school sweatshirts around their waists. A network of Chicago charter schools has policies so strict that some menstruating girls are bleeding through their pants for lack of permitted bathroom breaks, an NPR affiliate reported on Monday. In early April, NPR Illinois outlined the “dehumanizing” disciplinary practices at the Noble Network of Charter Schools, whichhas 18 campuses that serve 12,000 students in the area. Teachers and students subsequently reported other practices, including strictly limited bathroom visits. “We have [bathroom] escorts, and they rarely come so we end up walking out [of class] and that gets us in trouble,” an anonymous student texted to an NPR reporter. “But who wants to walk around knowing there’s blood on them? It can still stain the seats. They just need to be more understanding.”

Boner Candidate #2: MY SOCKS ARE IMPORTANT

A Hudson man is behind bars after deputies say he attacked two people with a sword because he was angry over socks. Pasco deputies were called to a home on Lauderdale Street Tuesday afternoon for the incident. According to an arrest report, 47-year-old Brandon McCray started arguing with people inside his home and accused several of them of stealing his socks. The report states McCray threatened the people in the home, saying he would be back and they would be sorry. Deputies say McCray then left the home and returned with a ninja sword, which he used to injure two people.

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