Boners

Boner of the Day for March 23rd, 2020

ROUND ONE

Boner Candidate #1: ASK YOUR PARENTS

An email sent out by a landlord, telling tenants that work in the restaurant industry to find alternate ways to pay rent if they are out of work due to the coronavirus or face “aggressive” removal, blew up on Twitter. The landlord later apologized. a friend of mine posted this in her story pic.twitter.com/UI6wTXbwax — baby jeff (@nintendoesnt) March 19, 2020 A Twitter user posted the screenshot from her friend’s Instagram story writing that the Indianapolis based landlord sent out the email to tenants. The email targets tenants that may work in the service industry who have been struggling to find work as restaurants close or are forced to only offer take out services during the virus. “Most of our tenant pool is not in the restaurant industry. If you are, now is the time to use your savings to pay your rent first,” the message says. “Tap your rainy day fund because it’s raining. If your [sic] out of savings, you need to tap your 401k.” The email then goes on to list alternative methods of gathering the funds to make rent payments, if the tenants do not have money set aside. “If you don’t have retirement funds, you need to borrow money from your parents and relatives. If you don’t have parents or relatives, you need to sell your car,” the message said. “You should pay your rent before you pay your car payment, your utilities, your cell phone, or even food. It’s better to go to a food bank than be homeless.” Read More

Boner Candidate #2: YOUR LEADERS ARE VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU

With the return of 1,600 Latter-day Saints missionaries, complications with social distancing were inevitable. But as KUTV shared video of their return at the Salt Lake City airport on Sunday, Utah state leaders shared their concerns about what they saw. Utah Lt. Gov. Spencer Cox was “disappointed” with how the families congregated in the parking lot. Gov. Herbert said gatherings like these are dangerous at this time. The missionaries were sent home due to coronavirus outbreak. 2News Reporter Kelly Vaughen shared her perspective of the event and said: “social distancing is out the window.” Airport instructions for the returned missionaries and their families were given but were not met. The instructions from Church leaders to stake leaders read as followed: Due to space constraints, only one vehicle is permitted for picking up each missionary. For the safety of your missionary, your family, and other travelers at the airport, please remain in you car until your missionary comes to your vehicle n the short-term parking garage. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: STOP COUGHING ON MY CAULIFLOWER

Police in Virginia are warning of a “disturbing trend” after a group of teens were caught on camera coughing on produce at a grocery store, then posting it on social media. This all comes amid the growing coronavirus pandemic, which continues to spread across the United States and around the world. “We have learned that this appears to be a disturbing trend on social media across the country, and we ask for help from parents to discourage this behavior immediately,” Purcellville police said in a Facebook post Thursday. “We are asking for parental assistance in monitoring your teenagers’ activities, as well as their social media posts to avoid the increase of any further such incidents.” Specific incidents were not detailed by police, but authorities urged parents to “talk with your children and explain to them why such behavior is wrong.” The grocery store, which was not mentioned by name, removed the tainted fruits and vegetables, police said. None of the teens have been arrested. According to data from Johns Hopkins University’s real time map, there were more than 19,000 coronavirus cases in the US with 260 deaths reported as of Saturday morning. Read More

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ROUND TWO

Boner Candidate #1: DESPERATE FOR A DATE

A woman in Spain was arrested after she was caught visiting the home of a man she had met on a dating app, breaking mandatory home confinement rules put in place due to the coronavirus pandemic. The woman was stopped by patrol officers as she walked down the street in Tortosa, a city in Catalonia, on Saturday night, according to El Periódico de Catalunya. They discovered the woman was on her way back home from visiting a man she had met on a dating app, according to the newspaper. The Mossos d’Esquadra, the police force for Catalonia, tweeted about the woman’s arrest on Sunday. They said the woman had left her home to visit a man she had only just met online. She was detained for violating the mandatory confinement as well as resisting and disobeying the “stay home” agents, police said. Spain announced a nationwide state of emergency on March 14 and banned people from all but essential outings as it struggled to contain Europe’s second worst coronavirus outbreak. Read More

Boner Candidate #2: TEST THIEF

A man disguised as a delivery driver stole 29 unused coronavirus test kits on Friday night in Arizona, police say. Tuscon Police Department is sharing surveillance obtained from El Rio Health Center so the public can help identify the burglar. In the video, the suspect is seen entering the health clinic in a uniform while employees were finishing up closing duties. In the morning, the employees noticed 29 kits had vanished overnight. They pulled the video and realized the “delivery man” had stolen the tests. An important note made by the Tuscon Police Department is the tests are useless outside the clinics. Lab equipment is essential in using the kits and reading the results. Additionally, officers warned the public not to purchase test kits on a secondary market because they are likely stolen or fraudulent. The individual is described as a Hispanic male in his 30’s with a large build. He is approximately 5’9 with a beard. He was last seen driving a reddish colored Dodge Charger-type vehicle. Fortunately, the tests were replaced accordingly and the clinic’s ability to continue testing was not compromised; although, that is 29 fewer tests they have to work with. Anyone with possible information about who this suspect may be is asked to call 88-CRIME. Read More

Boner Candidate #3: BASS CHEATERS

It was the first day of a largemouth bass fishing tournament at Lake Powell, and two Washington City men were doing quite well. They were in second place and had reeled in the largest bass so far. It seemed like they had a shot at taking home the grand prize of $2,500. Yet, when they turned their day’s catch over to judges, tournament organizers were suspicious. These bass had little heads and fat bodies compared to the other fish. It seemed like they’d been dining on different foods than the others, Division of Wildlife Resources police Lt. Paul Washburn said in a news release. And their fins were bright red — an obvious sign of distress. Tournament organizers disqualified the men the next day. That was in October 2018. A DWR investigation later found the fish had, indeed, come from elsewhere: Quail Creek Reservoir, more than 140 miles away. On Wednesday, the men were charged in 6th District Court with third-degree felony counts of bribery or threat to influence a contest. They are also facing two misdemeanor counts in connection with the alleged ruse. DWR spokeswoman Faith Jolley said the men also placed first, second or third in eight other tournaments in 2018. Jolley said officers have no evidence of cheating in those tournaments, but did find the sustained success suspicious. The men, who are 45 and 34, are scheduled for initial appearances on June 4. Read More

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