Boners

Boner of the Week for February 16th, 2018

Monday’s Boner Candidate: WHEW! IT’S REALLY IN YOUR FACE!

Despite concerns that it might allow immodest behavior, a bill advanced on a close vote Thursday to make it crystal clear that breast-feeding is legal in public places. The House Business and Labor Committee voted 6-5 for HB196, and sent it to the full House. “I don’t feel that we should ever relegate a woman to a restroom to breast-feed her child,” said Rep. Justin Fawson, R-North Ogden, sponsor of the bill. But he and others said some businesses now ask women to go there. “It is an issue here in Utah. Women are asked to move, cover up or leave the establishment while breast-feeding,” said Stephanie Pitcher with the Utah Women’s Coalition. “We are one of only two states that does not protect breast-feeding in business establishments.”

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Tuesday’s Boner Candidate: I BET YOU HAVE SOME GOOD PICTURES ON YOUR PHONE.

A former high school principal in Kentucky was reportedly confiscating students’ phones in an attempt to steal their nude photos and then submit them to a Russian-based porn trading site. The principal, Stephen Kyle Goodlett, was just sentenced to nine years in federal prison after a judge found him guilty of possessing and distributing child porn. Goodlett still faces 60 state-level charges of child porn. His sentencing on Thursday came after a former high school student discovered that nude photos of her from when she was 15 years old were on a porn site, according to The Seattle Times. She had taken them for her boyfriend. After the former student reported the nonconsensual distribution of her explicit photos to the authorities, they were able to trace the photos back to Goodlett’s account. Authorities say they found 436 images and 11 videos of child pornography on Goodlett’s devices, according to Time, and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children found a photo of a naked girl between the ages of 10 and 14 in his Dropbox account. Goodlett would reportedly save the images he obtained through the confiscated phones on a thumb drive to later look at and upload online. “Parents must be able to place their trust in educators to provide a safe learning environment for our kids,” United States Attorney Russell Coleman said, Time reported. “Mr. Goodlett not only violated this trust but exploited students for his own foul gratification. His significant punishment is well-earned.”

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Wednesday’s Boner Candidate: I BRUNG MY OWN PORN.

A transient man was arrested after breaking into a business connected to a home and watching pornography before a family detained him Monday night in Van Nuys. The crime was reported at 11:24 p.m. on the 14300 block of Victory Boulevard, said Los Angeles Police Department Capt. Lillian Carranza. Alan Estrada, age 28, a transient was arrested on suspicion of residential burglary, said LAPD Detective Michael O’Connor. According to the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department Inmate Information Center, Estrada was booked at 1:36 a.m. Tuesday inside Van Nuys Jail and remains there on a no-bail hold. A woman discovered the man — and made the 9-1-1 call to police — when she walked downstairs from her residence into her family’s business and noticed the computer was on, O’Connor said.

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Thursday’s Boner Candidate: DUMB AND DUMBER

This is the hilarious moment a bungling burglar knocked out his accomplice by throwing a flying brick at his head. The two men have been branded the ‘dumbest ever’ after police released CCTV footage of their failed attack. The hilarious clip shows two hooded men approaching a building in Shanghai, China, armed with bricks. They immediately whip out the missiles and throw them at a window in a bid to break the glass. The first makes a dent but as the second burglar throws his brick, the foolish accomplice leaps forward directly into the line of fire. He takes a direct hit to the face sending him falling unconscious to the ground. His co-conspirator is forced to take on the impromptu role of first aider as he desperately tends to the injured man after quickly dragging him across the ground. The video has racked up thousands of online views from across the globe – with commenters branding the pair ‘stupid’.

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Friday’s Boner Candidate: IF THIS IS TRUE….YOU ARE BONERS.

Just when you thought these so-called internet challenges couldn’t get any more dangerous, a new online trend is gaining some popularity.  The internet was introduced to the “Hot Coil Challenge” recently, and it’s got many people worried about the human race. It’s just like it sounds. People are turning on the stove, getting the coils hot, and then putting their arm or other limbs on the stove as long as they can. Some are posting their video to YouTube, while other are posting videos encouraging the viewer to not try it – which gives us some hope. We’re still in the immediate aftermath of the dangerous “Tide Pod Challenge,” which YouTube has worked hard to take down the videos from their website.

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