Round One
Boner Candidate #1: CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT ON HOW WE RULE
Five of the six Ohio Supreme Court justices who ruled that FirstEnergy does not have to refund $43.4 million to customers have received campaign contributions from FirstEnergy. The Ohio Supreme Court’s January 24, 2018 decision came more than four years after FirstEnergy appealed a 2013 order from the Public Utilities Commission of Ohio (PUCO) that required the utility to refund to customers millions of dollars it overpaid for Renewable Energy Credits (RECs) within 60 days. The Ohio Consumers’ Counsel (OCC) and Environmental Law and Policy Center (ELPC) have already asked the court to reconsider its decision in the FirstEnergy case. Consumer and environmental advocates had challenged FirstEnergy’s “unreasonable” purchase of RECs from subsidiary FirstEnergy Solutions and other suppliers at higher prices than those paid by Ohio’s other utilities at the time. In 2013, FirstEnergy also backed a bill to gut Ohio’s renewable energy and energy efficiency standards. Clean energy supporters warned FirstEnergy’s “imprudent” purchases of overpriced REC’s to comply with Ohio’s renewable energy requirements could be used to distort the cost of renewables in the eyes of the public and policymakers. A misleading 2017 study by the Buckeye Institute, which has received funding from the Koch network, attempted to do just that and called for the repeal of Ohio’s renewable energy standard.
Boner Candidate #2: LOOK WHAT THE JEW DID TO MY HAND.
An NFL heiress accused of bashing a California lawyer in the head with a $300 glass purse after making an anti-Semitic slur at a Manhattan restaurant came to court on Thursday with a brace on her right hand, the result of surgery for the injuries she suffered in the incident. Upper East Side socialite Jacqueline Kent Cooke, 29, daughter of the late Washington Redskins owner Jack Kent Cooke, briefly appeared in Manhattan Criminal Court, where prosecutors said they were seeking her medical records stemming from her clash with Matthew Haberkorn on New Year’s Eve. Haberkorn’s restraining order against Cooke remained in place Thursday. Cooke hunched over, pouted and displayed her wrapped hand during the appearance. She underwent surgery last month to have a titanium implant inserted into her right ring finger, a source told The Post Thursday. She has since needed physical therapy twice a week and daily exercise for her dislocated finger, the source said. Cooke was charged with assault after her tussle with Haberkorn at the fancy Upper East Side restaurant Caravaggio. The incident unfolded in the line for the cloakroom when Cooke allegedly told Haberkorn’s relative, “Hurry up, you Jew.”
Boner Candidate #3: MY DRUGS ARE SO GOOD I DARE YOU TO RESIST THEM
A methamphetamine trafficker who was wearing a D.A.R.E. t-shirt when arrested by Michigan narcotics agents was sentenced yesterday to a minimum of 15 years in prison. Jeffrey Elton Schmiege, 48, was arrested last year following a raid at his residence that yielded “large quantities of crystal meth, prescription medication, marijuana, a firearm, and ammunition,” according to the local narcotics task force. Schmiege, seen above, recently pleaded guilty to multiple felony narcotics counts. Investigators identified him as the leader of a ring that brought meth from Minnesota into Gogebic County in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Schmiege has a lengthy rap sheet that includes nine felony and six misdemeanor arrests.
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: IF THIS IS TRUE….YOU ARE BONERS.
Just when you thought these so-called internet challenges couldn’t get any more dangerous, a new online trend is gaining some popularity. The internet was introduced to the “Hot Coil Challenge” recently, and it’s got many people worried about the human race. It’s just like it sounds. People are turning on the stove, getting the coils hot, and then putting their arm or other limbs on the stove as long as they can. Some are posting their video to YouTube, while other are posting videos encouraging the viewer to not try it – which gives us some hope. We’re still in the immediate aftermath of the dangerous “Tide Pod Challenge,” which YouTube has worked hard to take down the videos from their website.
Boner Candidate #2: I HAVE VALUABLE STUFF IN THERE.
Worried about your bags being stolen at security? One Chinese woman joined her handbag through an X-ray machine to prevent just that. Staff at Dongguan Railway Station in southern China were shocked to find the silhouette of the train commuter on their X-ray monitors. An online video showed the bizarre incident took place on Sunday during the Lunar New Year travel rush. After climbing off the conveyor belt, the woman checked her bags and left. Extraordinary X-ray images show the woman kneeling on all fours behind her luggage, still wearing high-heeled shoes. It is unclear why the woman was so anxious about her handbag, but many people in China carry large amounts of cash when travelling home for Chinese New Year. The commuter had earlier placed her suitcase on the conveyor belt before attempting to walk through the security scanner with a small handbag, footage from Pear Video shows.
Boner Candidate #3: WHAT CAN I TELL YOU…I’M A DRUNK.
Showing up to court under the influence is bad, especially when accused of public drunkenness and with a pending case for driving under the influence. That’s what New Holland Police say Jennifer Amanda Jones did Feb. 9 when she was scheduled for a hearing at District Judge Jonathan Heisse’s office. Officers arrived and found she was under the influence of alcohol and took her into custody. Online court records indicate Jones has had multiple cases involving public drunkenness and driving under the influence. She was later turned over to the Lancaster County sheriff’s office on an outstanding warrant from DUI charge. Jones was formally charged with public drunkenness for the incident in district court on Feb. 13.
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