Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for December 7, 2016

Boner Candidate #1: UNACCEPTABLE? KIND OF HARSH FOR A LITTLE VANDALISM.

Fort Lewis College officials say some students defaced ancient Native American ruins while on a trip to Utah. The Durango Herald reports that college spokesman Mitch Davis says a group of students was on a Fort Lewis College Outdoor Pursuits overnight trip in October when some of them wrote on the ruins using black charcoal. Photos surfaced Monday showing the words “Fort Lewis College OP 2016” written on the rock wall of Fish Mouth Cave in the Comb Ridge area near Bluff, Utah.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHAT IS THAT WHIRRING NOISE?

Police are looking for a person who they believe has been using a drone to look into people’s bedrooms and bathrooms and record video. Over the weekend, an Orem man got up early to get ready for work. “He’s in his bathroom when he hears a humming noise, and says to himself, ‘That sounds a lot like a drone,'” said Orem Police Lt. Craig Martinez. The man got into his truck and followed the drone in an attempt to find the owner. The drone landed in a church parking lot but no one claimed it, Martinez said. The man picked up the drone and called police.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE COPS MADE BETTER TACKLES THAN ANYBODY ON THE JETS DEFENSE

A security guard and a New Jersey state trooper brought two topless pranksters who crashed Monday night’s New York Jets’ game down to earth with a serious bump. The shirtless men ran onto the MetLife Stadium field as the home team trailed the Indianapolis Colts 41-3 in the third quarter. But they didn’t get far.  Just seconds into their stunt, security bundled them to the ground ― to the delight of the crowd. Multiple fans captured the impromptu tackles on their cell phones and posted the footage to Twitter.

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Boner Candidate #4: COME ON. CAN’T YOU GO INTO YOUR BRAIN AND STOP THAT STUFF?

A Brooklyn city councilman and his underlings tormented an aide who suffers from Asperger’s syndrome — cruelly comparing him to a tragic, autistic teen and leaving decapitated teddy bears on his desk, the man claims in a new lawsuit. Vincent Gentile was slapped with the $10 million suit Tuesday by Michael Bistreich, who claims the Bay Ridge councilman found it funny when another staffer mockingly suggested that Bis­treich “test the doors” during a press conference regarding “Avonte’s Law,” which was enacted in 2014 after autistic student Avonte Oquendo slipped out a door of his Queens school and drowned in the East River.
The law requires alarms on many school doors. “Gentile responded by laughing and clapping his hands, which caused significant distress to Bistreich,” court papers state.

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Boner Candidate #5: GETTIN’ SO SOME GANGSTERS CAN’T HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

Video of a mannequin challenge that was designed to look like a shooting led Alabama authorities to raid a Huntsville home on Tuesday, leading to two arrests on gun and drug charges, law enforcement officials announced. In the nearly one-minute mannequin challenge video posted on Facebook last month, multiple people appear pointing guns at one another as if an shootout is underway outside a residence, AL.com reported.  But authorities got wind of the footage and obtained a search warrant, and a SWAT team raided the Huntsville property at 5 a.m. on Tuesday, Madison County Sheriff’s Captain Mike Salomonsky said at a press conference. They seized two handguns, an assault rifle and a shotgun, as well as several rounds of ammunition and magazines. It’s not clear whether any of these weapons appeared in the video. Authorities also confiscated bags of marijuana and a computer, Salomonsky said.

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Boner Candidate #6: GETTIN’ SO A WOMAN CAN’T EVEN TWERK ON HER OWN CAR

At the end of the day, it just didn’t twerk out. A noise complaint made about a Gainesville woman landed her in jail after she refused to stop twerking on her car and playing loud music, the Independent Florida Alligator reported. It was 3:15 a.m. Saturday when Gainesville police found Danielle Lanae Jefferson, 35, dancing to loud rap music, according to a police report. The officers were responding to a noise complaint placed by Jefferson’s neighbors, alleging that Jefferson had been playing the music for more than 20 minutes. When they asked her to turn down the music, she refused and began twerking on her vehicle while speaking to the officers, according to the report.

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