Boner Candidate #1: WELL HEY THANKS PHARMA-BRO
Martin Shkreli, the former chief executive officer of Turing Pharmaceuticals and KaloBios Pharmaceuticals Inc, after a hearing at Federal Court in Brooklyn in October. Credit Lucas Jackson/Reuters Martin Shkreli, the pharmaceutical executive who was denounced for raising the price of a prescription drug by more than 5,000 percent, has released music from the only known copy of a Wu-Tang Clan album he owns exclusively. He had promised to do so if Donald J. Trump was elected president. Mr. Shkreli made the initial announcement on Oct. 27 on Twitter. After Tuesday’s election, Mr. Shkreli appeared on the livestream platforms Periscope and Hitbox and said: “I will be releasing this music over a long period of time. But let me play a little bit of it now.”
Boner Candidate #2: NO CHARGES FILED…REALLY?
St. George Police continue to investigate the death of a family dog named Chewy at the hands of a neighbor after a Facebook posting of a young girl describing the incident appeared on Facebook. “On November 11th, at approximately 4:30 p.m., St. George Police Officers were dispatched to a report of a dog that had been killed in the area of 2040 East, in St. George. It was reported that the dog was killed by a neighbor,” St. George Police reported on its Facebook page. “What is known and is not in dispute, is that a small dog entered the neighbor’s yard and approached the man, who was maintaining his landscaping. The man swung a long handled pruning sheer at the dog when it approached him. The sheers ended up striking the dog in the head, killing it instantly,” police said in the posting.
Boner Candidate #3: SO HE WAS “RESEMBLING” THE GUN?
A man accidentally shot himself in the stomach Friday while performing gun maintenance, police said. About 4:15 p.m., 64-year-old Michael Lee Lockhart was cleaning a Glock .45-caliber handgun at his home, 2460 S. 5900 West, when he accidentally fired a round into his lower abdomen, according to Cache County Sheriff’s Lt. Mike Peterson. “Michael reported after resembling the gun and load(ing) it with a full magazine of ammunition, he accidentally fired a single round, striking himself,” Peterson said in a statement.
Boner Candidate #4: HE’S NOT A BAD KID. I MEAN HE STARTED A FOREST FIRE, BUT HE’S NOT A BAD KID.
An aspiring internet weatherman in eastern Kentucky was recently arrested on second-degree arson charges after authorities say he intentionally started a wildfire, the Associated Press reports. According to police, 21-year-old Johnny Mullins admitted to setting the fire to bring wider attention to his videos on Facebook. “He likes to do Facebook videos and have people follow him on his ‘weather forecast,’ so that’s pretty much why he did what he did,” James Stephens, police chief of Jenkins, Kentucky, told the AP. “He enjoyed the attention he got from the Facebook stuff.” In his most recent video, titled “Dangerous Forest fires to continue,” Mullins stands in front of a smoldering background and warns viewers to be “extremely careful if you’re out there.”
Boner Candidate #5: LOOK, I DIDN’T SAY TRUMP HAD A MUSTACHE.
A California high school teacher has been placed on paid leave after drawing comparisons between Adolf Hitler and President-elect Donald Trump in his classroom. History teacher Frank Navarro was asked to leave Mountain View High School midday Thursday after a parent wrote an email to the school complaining about his lecture, he told the Monterey Herald. Navarro, who is a Holocaust scholar, said his lesson was based on facts. Both Trump and Hitler, during their rise to power, vowed to deport foreigners and make their country “great again,” he noted.
Boner Candidate #6: I DON’T MEAN TO BE A RACIST
John Sousa, who works at Wesley Chapel High School in Pasco County near Tampa, Florida, was suspended after telling a group of black students: ‘Don’t make me call Donald Trump and get you sent back to Africa’ A white high school teacher has been suspended for telling his black students: ‘Don’t make me call Donald Trump and get you sent back to Africa.’ John Sousa, who works at Wesley Chapel High School in Pasco County near Tampa, Florida, was disciplined following the racist remarks he made to a group of teenagers.
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