Boners

Boner Preview Candidates for October 12, 2016

Boner Candidate #1:  ABOUT THE GHOSTS? DID THEY ARREST THE GHOSTS?

A Colfax man asked a Grant Parish Sheriff’s deputy to arrest the ghosts inside his home after the man’s suspicious behavior was reported, according to a release.

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Boner Candidate #2: THAT SETTLES IT; I’M A HARVARD MAN.

Yale University officials are apologizing for using racist images of Native Americans on the cover of the program for last weekend’s football game against Dartmouth College. The program was designed for the 100th game between the Ivy League schools on Saturday and featured images of several previous program covers from games between the schools. One from 1944 showed a Yale player setting fire to an American Indian’s clothing. The executive director of Yale’s indigenous performing arts program called the images “dehumanizing.”

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Boner Candidate #3: YES, THESE PEOPLE ARE ALLOWED TO BE PARENTS

A Wisconsin couple was arrested Friday on child neglect charges after leaving their toddler at home to dress up as clowns and scare a neighborhood. Menasha police said they received a report of people wearing clown masks and chasing after vehicles in the early morning hours on Oct. 7. Authorities located two men who were involved in the incident and another woman who had been driving them around.

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Boner Candidate #4: YES, THIS MAN IS A SITTING MEMBER OF CONGRESS

Rep. Blake Farenthold (R-Tex.) had a moment on cable news on Tuesday night. A sitting member of Congress declined on Tuesday to say whether he’d withdraw his endorsement of Donald Trump if a recording of Trump surfaced saying he liked to rape women.  Think about that for a second.

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Boner Candidate #5: YES, THIS MAN IS ACTUALLY A GOVENOR

North Carolina Gov. Pat McCrory said during a debate Tuesday that transgender Olympian Caitlyn Jenner better plan on using the men’s bathroom if she visits the state. McCrory, continuing his defense of the state’s sweeping anti-LGBT law, blamed “liberals” for “a major change in culture” that forced Republicans to respond with the legislation.

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Boner Candidate #6: YES, THIS MAN ACTUALLY HAS A RADIO PROGRAM

So it’s come to this: the president of the United States publicly denying he’s a demon, as conspiracy theorists have suggested. President Barack Obama on Tuesday took a break from eviscerating Republican nominee Donald Trump and the GOP to respond to bizarre allegations raised this week by right-wing radio host Alex Jones.

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