Boners

Boner Preview for February 13th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: IS THIS HOW YOU DO FAKE NEWS?

Rep. Jason Chaffetz said the raucous reception he received at Thursday evening’s town hall meeting was “bullying and an attempt at intimidation” from a crowd opposed to President Donald Trump’s election. “You could see it online a couple days before, a concerted effort in part to just cause chaos,” the Utah Republican said Friday. “Democrats are in disbelief that they have nothing but flailing and screaming to deal with this.” The relentless jeering at his and other recent congressional town halls around the country recall the tea party’s reaction to President Barack Obama and Democrats, and comes as protests continue over Trump’s policies.

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Boner Candidate #2: JUST CHECK ONE MORE TIME BEFORE YOU HIT SEND

A 42-year-old Monroe man apparently thought he was texting a hit man when he offered to split a $1.5 million life-insurance payout for killing his wife and young daughter, according to Snohomish County prosecutors. But the text addressed to “Shayne” was actually sent to the man’s former boss, who called 911 Tuesday evening and showed the message to sheriff’s deputies, says a statement of probable cause outlining the case against the suspect. A judge ordered him held in the Snohomish County Jail in lieu of $1 million bail after finding probable cause on two counts of criminal solicitation for first-degree murder domestic-violence, jail and court records show.

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Boner Candidate #3: THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN AND THINGS ARE PRETTY CRAZY HERE ON THE FLIGHT DECK

A United Airlines pilot started ranting about her divorce and the state of politics over her plane’s intercom just before takeoff — then told passengers they could get lost if they didn’t like it, according to video and passengers. The apparently emotionally distressed pilot, who was dressed in a baseball cap and street clothes, went on her bizarre Saturday morning diatribe aboard her plane at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport in Texas, babbling over its PA system minutes before its scheduled takeoff for San Francisco. “Don’t worry, I’m going to let my co-pilot fly – he’s a man,” the female pilot said at one point, according to the video.

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Boner Candidate #4: THE GUN JUST….I DON’T KNOW….FELL. I DON’T KNOW.

Randy Barroso, 38, faces a negligence charge after his gun dropped from his clothing and discharged in a South Florida Dunkin’ Donuts A South Florida man whose gun dropped from his clothing and discharged in a donut shop is facing a negligence charge. A bullet hit a 55-year-old woman, who was taken to a hospital for treatment of non-life-threatening injuries. Randy Barroso, 38, turned himself in Saturday after he had left the scene of the shooting in a Dunkin’ Donuts shop in Coconut Creek, about 40 miles north of Miami.  The shooting occurred around 8.30am, NBC6 reported. Detectives said he was cooperative and gave a statement that the shooting was unintentional.

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Boner Candidate #5: WHAT MADE THE COPS THINK THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG HERE

Two New Brunswick men have been arrested after allegedly going through a McDonald’s drive-thru on a couch. Miramichi police say an officer spotted the couch, being towed behind an ATV, at 3:19 a.m. Thursday in the drive-thru. Cpl. Lorri McEachern says the driver of the four wheeler took off after the officer turned on the lights atop his cruiser, stranding the two “intoxicated” men outside the restaurant. She says the driver raced through the parking lot, across the highway and onto the frozen Miramichi River, still towing the couch through much of his escape.

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Boner Candidate #6: WHAT? WE THOUGHT IT WAS TRUMP.

Alec Baldwin does a pretty convincing Donald Trump impersonation — just ask a newspaper in the Dominican Republic. El Nacional published an apology Saturday after mistakenly running a photo of the actor doing his impression of the U.S. president on “Saturday Night Live” instead of Trump himself. Accompanying an article in its Friday edition headlined in Spanish: “Trump says settlements in Israel don’t favor peace,” a photo of a scowling Baldwin in a blond wig appears next to a photo of Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. In a statement posted on its website, the Dominican newspaper said a photo of Baldwin imitating Trump — over the caption “Donald Trump, president of the USA” — was published on page 19 and the mistake went unnoticed by the newspaper’s staff.

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