Boners

Boner Preview for February 27th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: I’M A BUNNY HELPER, NOT A HOARDER

Brooklyn’s “bunny hoard­er’’ will spend 45 days in a cage on multiple animal-cruelty charges. Dorota Trec was sentenced Friday in Brooklyn Criminal Court after she was convicted in November of abusing some 100 rabbits she kept in a squalid yard in the Gowanus section.  She had faced up to two years incarceration. Judge Curtis Farber told Trec that she can’t keep any pets for five years and must undergo psychiatric treatment.

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Boner Candidate #2: TOO MANY JEWS

A high-ranking CUNY administrator secretly complained about “too many Jews” on the faculty at Kingsborough Community College, according to blockbuster audio obtained by The Post. Stuart Suss, a former interim president of the school, allegedly made the remark to a Kingsborough professor, who then relayed it to a colleague while being secretly recorded. “What did you hear him say?” asked Business Department Chairman Jeffrey Lax, who is suing Suss and CUNY over claims of religious discrimination and harassment. “Oh, that there are too many Jews,” math professor Ronald Forman replied during the April 4 exchange. Lax’s Brooklyn federal court suit accuses Suss — now vice president of academic affairs at CUNY’s Guttman Community College — of making anti-Semitic remarks and reducing the number of Jews on the Kingsborough faculty.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOU LIVE IN TRUMP COUNTRY NOW

Calling them gay slurs and taunting, “You live in Trump country now,” a drunken scooter rider attacked two Key West men who were on bicycles riding home on Duval Street early Thursday, police said. Kevin Seymour, 38, and Kevin Paul Taylor, 49, said it was a drunken tourist who followed them as they rode south on Duval Street “calling us f—–s and a slew of other anti-gay remarks,” according to a police report. At one point, the scooter rider struck the rear tire of Seymour’s bike, knocking him to the ground. Police were called to 1221 Duval St. about 1 a.m. Thursday for the report of aggravated battery.

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Boner Candidate #4: REAL LIFE VS THE COMICS

The Punisher is a fictional Marvel character who fights crime with a vengeance. But unlike most arbiters of justice in the real world, he’s totally cool with murder, torture and other violent and criminal means to get the job done. A Kentucky police chief announced Friday that he removed the Punisher’s skull logo ― featured alongside the phrase “Blue Lives Matter” ― from his department’s vehicles after putting two-and-two together. All it took was a little help from some angry, enlightened people.  The Catlettsburg Police Department in eastern Kentucky, a small force that serves a population of about 2,500, had emblazoned the logo on the hoods of its vehicles, a move that some locals enjoyed, but everyone else hated, according to the Lexington Herald-Leader.

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Boner Candidate #5: COME ON! IT’S JUST PART OF THE INITIATION

A Brown County man has been sentenced to three-and-a-half years in prison for amputating a woman’s finger with a machete as a ritual to honor a fellow Insane Clown Posse fan. Jonathan Schrap appeared in a Brown County court room Friday morning for a sentencing hearing. In addition to the prison sentence, a judge ordered Schrap to serve four-and-a-half years on extended supervision, and probation. Judge John P. Zakowski seemed flabbergasted by the details of the case, “Where do you go with this? How can this happen? How can this even happen in Green Bay?” Prosecutors say Schrap, the victim, and two others gathered at Schrap’s home last August to remember the Insane Clown Posse fan — or Juggalo — who had died last year.

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Boner Candidate #6: HE’S A SWEDISH EXPERT, HONEST.

A trans-Atlantic wave of puzzlement is rippling across Sweden for the second time in a week, after a prominent Fox News program featured a “Swedish defense and national security advisor” who’s unknown to the country’s military and foreign-affairs officials. Swedes, and some Americans, have been wondering about representations of the Nordic nation in the U.S. since President Donald Trump invoked “what’s happening last night in Sweden” while alluding to past terror attacks in Europe during a rally Feb. 18. There hadn’t been any major incident in Sweden the previous night. Then, Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly convened an on-air faceoff Thursday over Swedish immigration and crime between a Swedish newspaper reporter and a man identified on screen and verbally as a “Swedish defense and national security advisor,” Nils Bildt.

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