Boners

Boner Preview for January 25th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: HEY FAT HEAD, WE DON’T BELIEVE YOU DON’T KNOW HOW THAT COMMENT ENDED UP ON YOUR FACEBOOK.

A state senator from Indiana is apologizing for a fat-shaming, “offensive” Facebook post that trivialized the millions of women who marched during national protests Saturday as “fat women out walking.” Jack E. Sandlin, a Republican state senator who represents Indiana’s Johnson and Marion counties, shared the post on his personal Facebook page Sunday, one day after more than 2.5 million women and men flooded streets in the nation’s capital during the Women’s March on Washington. “In one day, Trump got more fat women out walking than Michelle Obama did in 8 years,” read the post on Sandlin’s Facebook account, which is now peppered with critics calling on him to resign while others said he’s the reason the women marched in the first place. Sandlin, in a statement to The Post, confirmed that the “offensive” message appeared on his Facebook page.

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Boner Candidate #2: EARLY TERMINATION OF PREGNACY…THROW HER IN JAIL

Texas state Representative Tony Tinderholt hoped to put women in jail and take away their voting rights if they had an abortion. In an interview with the Texas Observer, the Republican lawmaker explained that women need to know there are “repercussions” for their actions. “Right now, it’s real easy,” Tinderholt said. “Right now, they don’t make it important to be personally responsible because they know that they have a backup of ‘oh, I can just go get an abortion.’ Now, we both know that consenting adults don’t always think smartly sometimes. But consenting adults need to also consider the repercussions of the sexual relationship that they’re gonna have, which is a child.”

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Boner Candidate #3: I’D RATHER BE IN JAIL THAN BE WITH YOU

A 70-year-old Kansas City, Kan., man pleaded guilty Monday to robbing a bank last year because, he said, he was tired of living with his wife. Lawrence John Ripple pleaded guilty Monday in U.S. District Court in Kansas City, Kan., to the robbery last September of the Bank of Labor at 756 Minnesota Ave. Ripple was released on bond after he was charged in September and was accompanied to court by his wife Monday. They declined to comment after the hearing. Ripple pleaded guilty without an agreement with prosecutors. The prosecutors and defense attorney will be free to argue what sentence they think is appropriate.

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Boner Candidate #4: MAN, HE REALLY WANTS TO GO TO BYU-IDAHO

A Murray man was charged Monday with stalking and threatening his LDS bishop for a year and purposely killing his lawn after an interview to get into BYU-Idaho went wrong. Curtis M. Davies, 30, was charged in 3rd District Court with criminal mischief, a second-degree felony; stalking, a class A misdemeanor; and threat of violence, a class B misdemeanor. During a meeting Davies had with the bishop of his LDS singles ward regarding his application to BYU-Idaho, “Davies became very angry, violent, and a minor physical altercation occurred,” according to charging documents. After that, beginning in January of 2016, the bishop began receiving “threats of violence towards him and his wife” from Davies through text messages and social media, the charges state.

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Boner Candidate #5: I WAS WORRIED ABOUT THEIR SAFETY.

A Utah man has been accused of placing a small camera in the bathroom of a Rexburg apartment where six women live. Devan MacCabe, 23, of Salem, was booked into the Madison County Jail for investigation of felony video voyeurism Friday, the Post Register reports. Rexburg Police Capt. Randy Lewis says a small camera was found hidden inside a towel hook mounted in the bathroom where the young women live. MacCabe and the six women are BYU-Idaho students. Lewis said MacCabe lives in the same apartment complex as the women and was acquainted with them.

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Boner Candidate #6: CONTACT THE LOST AND FOUND DEPARTMENT AND DON’T FORGET YOUR I.D.

Police in Indiana are searching for the owner of several pounds of marijuana after the wrong recipient received it. Police say a resident contacted them after 5.5 pounds of weed was dropped off at the wrong address. If you or someone you know is the rightful owner of this weed, the Columbus police are asking that you bring your ID to the police station to claim it.

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