Boners

Boner Preview for March 15th, 2017

Boner Candidate #1: OKAY KIDS….LET’S SELL SOME SLAVES!

New Jersey parents are sounding off over a fifth grade class assignment to create slave auction posters. Parents raised concerns on social media after they saw the project this week while attending teacher conferences at South Mountain Elementary School in South Orange, New Jersey. Posters that illustrated “wanted” slaves were displayed on the school walls, according to South Orange Patch. “In a curriculum that lacks representation for students of color, it breaks my heart that these will be the images that young black and brown kids see of people with their skin color,” parent Jamil Karriem wrote Tuesday on Facebook.“It is completely lost on me how this project could be an effective way to teach any student in any age group about American history.”

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Boner Candidate #2: THAT? OH, WE THREW THAT OUT

A heartbroken couple claims a Miami hospital threw away their stillborn baby in the trash, preventing them from giving the child a proper funeral, according to a new lawsuit. Parents Pedro Cruz and Christina Ruiz learned they were pregnant with their fourth child, a girl, last August, the suit filed last week in Miami Dade County says. But four months later, Ruiz was rushed to North Shore Medical Center, where the parents learned that the baby – who they named Fatima Christina Cruz – had died.  After Ruiz gave birth to their stillborn daughter, the parents filled out hospital paperwork indicating they would have a funeral for her, consistent with their religion, which wasn’t specified in court papers. When the couple asked the hospital the following month about the whereabouts of their late daughter, they were told workers “had lost and/or thrown away the body,” the suit says.

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Boner Candidate #3: THE DEVIOUS BUT DUMB POOPER SCOOPER

A man whose company scoops up pet poop has been placed on probation for two years and fined $500 for buying fake Secret Service identification cards and badges online to impress women on a dating site. Christopher Diiorio, 54, of Greensburg, was sentenced Monday by a federal judge in Pittsburgh. He had pleaded guilty in November to fraudulently using an official seal, but acknowledged behavior in two other counts dismissed Monday: flashing an ID card during a traffic stop and trying to use a Secret Service badge to get a government rate for a hotel room. “Your honor, I’m not a bad man, I’m a dumb man,” Diiorio told U.S. District Judge Nora Barry Fischer. “What I did was truly stupid and I’m very sorry for that.”

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Boner Candidate #4: IT WAS THE BEST BOXED WINE

A substitute teacher at a South Carolina high school was arrested after allegedly being so drunk, she threw up on the classroom floor. According to WIS-TV, an incident report from the Lexington County Sheriff’s Department claims Judith Elizabeth Richards-Gartee had an open box of wine in her purse and that students had observed her drinking the wine during class. Richards-Gartee was allegedly unable to stand when a school administrator arrived to the classroom, so a wheelchair was brought in take her to the nurse’s office, before she was transported to an area hospital. The Lexington School District released a statement on the incident Monday morning.

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Boner Candidate #5: OH JUST LEAVE HER.

A California woman who is believed to be the mother seen abandoning her 2-year-old daughter at a Riverside grocery store is now in custody, police said Tuesday. Chiengkham Vilaysane was taken into police custody several hours after her photo and name were released to the public. It is still not clear whether the thirty-one year old was arrested. Police released a surveillance video Monday showing a woman walking into a grocery store over the weekend with a child by her side. The toddler wandered off but the woman never sought the child’s whereabouts and continued shopping. Eventually, a Good Samaritan brought the child back to the mother to which she responded, “oh just leave her.” The mother left the store after paying for the groceries.

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Boner Candidate #6: IT COULD HAVE BEEN A DEADLY PLUNGER.

The Shops at Mission Viejo were on lockdown for about an hour after someone reported seeing a man with a rifle in the parking lot Monday afternoon, but turns out, it was actually a plumber with a plunger, deputies said. It was just about 5:30 p.m., when deputies were called by someone saying there was an armed man in the shopping center’s parking lot. Deputies put the mall and parking lot on lockdown so they could investigate, Lt. Nathan Wilson said. Patrons were kept inside the mall and others away from the lot.  “It was a plumber with a plunger in a bag,” Wilson said. The area was re-opened. No arrests were made.

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