Boner Candidate #1: COME ON… I’LL DO A GOOD JOB. LEMME CIRCUMCISE YOUR SON
A man in Newfoundland was charged for… uh… he… uh… well, he was charged for trying to administer circumcisions in his cabin in the woods. As first reported by the CBC, Josh Chubbs (yes, really), a 23-year-old Newfoundland man, was charged with practising without a medical licence after attempting to talk a woman into letting him perform a circumcision on her son at his home. Chubbs didn’t have a medical background but was actively working on a mortician apprenticeship at a Carbonear, Newfoundland, funeral home. Prior to working with cadavers Chubbs told the woman that he had trained in pediatric urology and was perfectly capable of, and legally allowed, to perform circumcisions.
Boner Candidate #2: AGAIN, HOW IS THIS NOT A HATE CRIME?
The Ellis family’s home at the beginning of Hanukkah, left, and in the morning, when the menorah was vandalized, right. (Courtesy of Naomi Ellis) Arizona police have arrested four suspects in an apparently anti-Semitic act of vandalism that made national headlines in December. The Chandler Police Department says that a 19-year-old man and three boys were responsible for dismantling a Jewish family’s PVC pipe menorah and turning it into a swastika while the family slept. The police department said Clive Jamar Wilson, 19, will face charges of criminal trespass and aggravated criminal damage for the destruction of the family’s yard decoration.
Boner Candidate #3: HE WAS JUST VERY, VERY GRATEFUL.
A Ghanaian soccer star may be in the doghouse after giving an awkward live TV interview where he mistakenly thanked his wife and girlfriend. Mohammed Anas, who plays for South Africa’s Free State Stars, had just been named “man of the match” when he made the Freudian slip of the tongue during a post-game interview Friday night. “Firstly I appreciate my fans,” Mohammed Anas began, “and my wife and my girlfriend.” Within seconds of catching his mistake, he quickly backtracked with some nervous-sounding laughter.
Boner Candidate #4: A DARK SKINNED ROBOTICS TEAM? IMPOSSIBLE! HOW DARE THEY!
A team of black and Latinx fourth graders became the target of racism during a robotics competition in Indiana, but they didn’t let that stop them from going to the world championships. Last month, the Panther Bots, a five-student team from Indianapolis’ Pleasant Run Elementary School, had finished participating in a robotics challenge at Plainfield High School when their competitors saw them in the parking lot and yelled to them, “Go back to Mexico!” according to the The Indianapolis Star. “They were pointing at us and saying, ‘Oh my God, they are champions of the city all because they are Mexican. They are Mexican and they are ruining our country,’” Diocelina Herrera, mother of one of the Panther Bot students, told the Star.
Boner Candidate #5: BEWARE THE BRAZILIAN BUTT LIFT
When Ranika Hall, 25, announced she would travel to South Florida for a Brazilian butt lift, her family urged her not to go through with the popular rear-reshaping surgery. But Hall, a new mother, ignored her family’s advice because she was unhappy with her post-pregnancy body, NBC Miami reported. “I tried to talk her out of it. I really did,” her mother, Nicole Hall, told the outlet. “Her sisters and her brothers tried to talk her out of it,” she said. The Missouri woman is the second patient in less than a year to die from a Brazilian butt-lift procedure at the same Miami plastic surgery clinic.
Boner Candidate #6: DRUNK FRAT BRO AND THE SHARK TOOTH SHOTGUN.
A sick stunt has sparked outrage online after a frat boy was filmed using washed-up shark’s teeth to pierce open his can of beer. Footage shows the shirtless youngster take the “shotgunning” technique to the extreme while celebrating Spring Break on a beach. Stunned viewers slammed it as the “dumbest thing” they’d ever seen. One said: “Soo not okay. Sharks deserve enough respect to not be used as a drinking prop by boys with a single digit IQ, but ok pal.” “I hope the shark ate his arm off,” said one furious viewer.
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