Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for April 18th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I DON’T THINK THIS WILL HELP US FIND MISSING KIDS

A website run by the US Justice Department and used to gather information about missing and abducted children is redirecting visitors to porn sites with names such as “schoolgirl porn” and “ungrateful huge boobs Indian wife being a slut,” Gizmodo has discovered. A redirect bug on the AmberAlert.gov allows anyone to create backlinks on the DOJ-run site—functionality apparently too good to pass up for some porn bots. The Amber Alert site is being manipulated by at least a half dozen porn sites (and an untold number of others) likely in a sad attempt to boost their Google rankings.

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Boner Candidate #2: WE’RE SELLING TO WHITE PEOPLE YOU BIG BULLY.

An online clothing retailer based in Utah has sparked outrage for marketing their clothing with the hashtag #WhiteGirlsWearMexican. The company Mexitrend apparel, started by two American sisters, specializes in buying dresses, blankets, and other merchandise from Mexico and selling the items to American buyers. However the company’s marketing has stirred controversy for the store’s cultural appropriation, use of exclusively white models, and name that diminishes Mexican culture to a mere fashion trend.

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Boner Candidate #3: GINA NEEDS TO STOP NOMINATING BONER CANDIDATES.

Victoria Beckham knows how to spoil herself. The fashion designer celebrated her 44th birthday on Tuesday with a small cake-shaped watermelon topped with strawberries, blueberries and a white candle. She posted a video of herself cutting the creation into slices on Instagram, writing, “Love from a very lucky mummy x I love u all so so much x kisses @davidbeckham.” The carb-free “cake” post was just one of many celebratory photos Beckham shared in honor of her birthday.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: OBAMA MADE ME DECORATE.

President Trump’s trade representative is spending nearly $1 million on new furniture — and blaming the Obama administration. US Trade Representative Robert Lighthizer spent more than $917,000 to furnish the two trade offices near the White House, according to contracts reviewed by The Post. That’s a significant increase compared to the last two trade reps. Ron Kirk, President Barack Obama’s first trade ambassador, spent $237,000 on office furniture during the first 15 months of his term.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S MY GO -TO ,THE JOKE I MAKE WHEN I’M BOMBING…GET IT?

A Kansas City woman who told police that threatening schools is her “go-to joke” has been charged with making a terroristic threat. The Kansas City Star reports that 22-year-old Asia Snell was arrested Sunday, a day after texting a friend that she planned to shoot up an elementary school near her house and asking, “Can you drive me?” Court records say she ended the text with “Lolololol,” short for laugh out loud. The friend told police that Snell had made similar comments before, but not in writing. The friend said he didn’t think Snell was serious but didn’t want to take a chance.

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Boner Candidate #3: COME ON YOUR HONOR…YOU THINK I’D TAP THAT?

A Marin County man on trial for rape said Thursday he could not have committed the crime because he’s “a good-looking guy” and the alleged victim is “300 pounds,” local media reported. Izell Lewis, 26, of San Rafael, chose to represent himself during last week’s proceedings, during which he also denied allegations of lewd behavior in an Uber. “This is a terrible idea,” said Judge Andrew Sweet, according to the Marin Independent Journal. Sweet hesitantly consented to the motion, which erased the work of Lewis’ court-appointed lawyer, Michael Coffino.

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