Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for April 9th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: A NOT SO CONTROLLED DEMOLITION

A “controlled” explosive demolition of an obsolete, 173-foot concrete silo in Denmark on Friday took a turn for the worse — literally — when it toppled in the wrong ­direction and came crashing down on a library building. Hundreds of spectators at the harbor in Vordingborg gathered along the shore and aboard boats to watch the planned explosion at 4:45 p.m. local time — and got to witness the unplanned partial destruction of a nearby building that doubles as a library and cultural center, Danish news network TV EAST reported. No one was injured, save for the egos of demolition-project managers.

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Boner Candidate #2: I’M LOVIN’ IT.

A Texas mom is apologizing for not monitoring her son’s clothing close enough. Shelly McCullar sent her son, Anthony, to school at Travis Elementary on Wednesday in what she thought was a McDonald’s-logo t-shirt. But the mom was in for a surprise when Anthony got home and she took a closer look at what he was wearing – an X-rated McDonald’s parody featuring a pair of parted women’s legs wearing heals with the tagline, “I’m lovin it” written underneath. “I promise from now on to monitor what my kids are wearing!” McCullar wrote in a now-viral Facebook post. “I had no idea Anthony wore this to school.” According to the Facebook post, which has been shared over 100,000 times, McCullar had received a box of hand-me-down clothes for Anthony from a friend, but she hadn’t yet gone through the bins to see what was in it. Anthony said in a posted video that he just grabbed the shirt thinking it was “like McDonald’s” and went to school.

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Boner Candidate #3: THAT DUDE IS WACK

This shocking video captures the moment a man slips something into a woman’s drink while it’s in her own hand. As the woman films a selfie video showing her dancing at a festival, the man approaches her from behind. In plain sight, and in front of other revellers, he appears to put an unknown item, suspected to be a pill, in the woman’s cup. The clip was posted on Twitter by Jaeda Sky, the friend of the targeted woman who can also be seen in the video. She wrote: ‘I’ll never understand how a dude can be so wack with no game and feel the need to be such a disgusting predator.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: MOM’S WEED-A-RONI IS DELICIOUS

A Tempe mom was arrested after police say her child ate mac and cheese made with THC butter. THC is a chemical in cannabis that gets you high. Alaina Marie Limpert, 25, was booked on one count of child abuse. The Department of Child Safety was notified by someone in Limpert’s home that her almost-two-year-old daughter had ingested THC butter while eating macaroni and cheese with her father. “During that time, neither parent took the child to immediate emergency care,” according to the police report. Instead, “It was witnessed inside of the residence that [they] both laughed about the side effects the child experienced during that time and then proceeded to place her into their backyard pool to use the cold water to ‘shock’ her,” the police report continued.

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Boner Candidate #2: IT’S WHAT MY CONSTITUENTS WOULD WANT ME TO DO.

A councilwoman in Texas is accused of mocking and shouting expletives at a group of teen girls because one of them was wearing a Trump shirt. Kellye Burke, a West University Place councilwoman, was charged with disorderly conduct Thursday for the cookie shop incident involving a “Make America Great Again” shirt, news station KPRC reported. The girls said they were in line at the Houston bakery Saturday night to buy cookies for their church when Burke approached them. “Grab ’em by the [expletive], girls!’” she allegedly shouted.

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Boner Candidate #3: I GUESS THE WIND JUST BLEW IT IN THERE.

Authorities say a Florida woman is blaming a windy day for the cocaine that police found in her purse. WPLG reported Kennecia Posey was one of two passengers in a car stopped by Fort Pierce police in late March. Police say an officer smelled marijuana and that, after searching the car, cocaine and marijuana in separate bags were found inside a purse Posey had on her lap. Authorities say they questioned Posey about the drugs. According to the police report, Posey responded: “It’s a windy day. It must have flown through the window and into my purse.” Posey was charged with a felony count of cocaine possession and a misdemeanor count of marijuana possession. She was later released on bond.

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