Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for August 22nd, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: HEY MAN, IS THAT CHOPPED HAM IN YOUR PANTS?

A Louisville man was arrested Friday afternoon after police say he stole several items — including 99 packs of Pokemon cards — from Family Dollar. According to an arrest report, it happened at the Family Dollar at 3277 Taylor Boulevard, near Arcade Avenue, just after 1 p.m. on Aug. 17. Police received a report that a white male in a red shirt had been shoplifting at the store. When officers arrived, they allegedly found 33-year-old Michael Larocco walking away from the store carrying several items of merchandise in his hands. Police say he matched the description of the suspected shoplifter. When police confronted Larocco, he admitted that he already planned on taking merchandise from the store, but when an employee “antagonized” him about it, he decided to take more “out of spite, because he didn’t like the way she was treating him.”

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Boner Candidate #2: JUST WHO YOU WANT FOR YOUR COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR; SOMEONE WHO KNOWS NOTHING.

In a sweeping, one-hour meeting with The Salt Lake Tribune’s editorial board on Monday, the Salt Lake County Republican Party’s new communication director made claims about the LGBTQ community that the county health department described as “wildly inaccurate” and Equality Utah said are “deeply irresponsible.” Dave Robinson joined county GOP Chairman Scott Miller, who has been on the job for a little more than a month, for a conversation about where they see the party headed on issues ranging from water to land use and the LGBTQ community. Miller said he’s looking to make his party “relevant again” during his roughly nine-month term, noting that it has been “apathetic” in the past. In the future, he said, the party needs to work to represent the entire county and not just the “far right.”

Boner Candidate #3: BUT THE NAME…POLE DANCING….IT CAN’T BE ANYTHING WHOLESOME.

A North Carolina teacher was reportedly suspended after a video surfaced of her working a part-time job as a pole dance instructor. Kandice Mason told ABC 11 that she posted a video of her dancing to her private Facebook page, which she said was somehow leaked to the Hoke County Public Schools. “I’ve worked so hard to try and make sure I can provide for my daughters and our livelihood to have it jeopardized just for doing something that I’m passionate about,” said Mason. Mason said the school suspended her for violating a policy in which employees are to act as role models and “are responsible for their public conduct … even when they are not performing their job duties as employees of the school system.”

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT.

A burglar tunneled his way into a convenience store in La Verne, California, early Friday morning, according to police, who posted photos to Facebook showing the suspect and a hole in the wall he apparently climbed through. Police responded to the scene just after 4 a.m. on Friday after a burglary alarm went off at the Inland Dairy Store. Once there, the officers noticed a hole inside one of the walls of the store. The suspect in the burglary, Rudy Mindiola of Pomona, was found while he was trying to hide from officers at the store. He was detained and arrested on suspicion of commercial burglary and possession of burglary tools. Mindiola was later released on $20,000 bond, police said in a news release. Investigators determined Mindiola had tunneled his way into the business in order to steal, police said. Broken chips of wood could be seen around the hole in the wall at the store, with a black metal gate visible within the hole.

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Boner Candidate #2: THE MOST INAPPROPRIATE SIGN YOU COULD HANG IN A SCHOOL

A poster has been hung around Seabrook Intermediate School in Texas asking pupils to ‘Please, bust a N.U.T.’It remains unclear if the flyer was posted around by a student or a member of staff.

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Boner Candidate #3: YOUR HAIR IS UN-NATURAL

Video of a young black girl walking dejectedly out of a New Orleans area Catholic school in tears after being told her hair extensions violated school policy prompted thousands of social media comments Tuesday— many expressing puzzlement or outrage. Some accused Christ the King Middle School of racism, including social activist Shaun King on Twitter and rapper T.I. on Instagram. Sixth-grader Faith Fennidy’s brother Steven posted Facebook video showing her leaving school with relatives. Her braids are pulled back and hang slightly below the neckline. Fennidy’s post says there are practical reasons for the hair extensions.

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