Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One and Two) for December 7th, 2018

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: KEVIN HART AND THE ACADEMY

We live in the golden age of bad non-apologies, but Kevin Hart’s response to recent backlash over resurfaced homophobic jokes might take the cake. “Stop looking for reasons to be negative… Stop searching for reasons to be angry,” Hart wrote in his Instagram, along with a grainy video of him shirtless expressing the same sentiments. For those playing catch up: On Wednesday, Hart was announced as the host of the 2019 Oscars. Within hours, concerns were raised online that resurfaced a litany of (now-deleted) tweets. One described how, if he ever saw his son playing with his daughter’s doll house, “I’m going 2 break it over his head and say n my voice ‘stop that’s gay.'” Others included him using homophobic slurs against other people.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: I THINK MS. GIESZINGER IS OFF HER MEDS

A deranged teacher in a California public charter school cut a student’s hair while dramatically shouting the national anthem, shocking video shows. “What so proudly we hail!” an off-key and inaccurate Margaret Gieszinger, 52, belts out in the frightening footage while standing behind a student at University Preparatory High School in Visalia, CA. “Next,” Gieszinger then said while holding up a pair of scissors. “I’m not done … Next.” The bizarre footage then ends as Gieszinger — who taught science at the school — continues shouting the anthem, singing “o’er the ramparts we watch’d” as students run out of the classroom. Gieszinger, of Exeter, was arrested on suspicion of corporal injury to a child following the incident, the Visalia Times-Delta reports. She has since been removed from the classroom and will not return following the “disturbing behavior” shown on the video, a spokesman for the Tulare County Office of Education confirmed to The Post.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: SORRY. RULES IS RULES. NOW PUSH.

When a woman who was 40 weeks pregnant went into labor last February inside a police holding cell in the Bronx, officers took her to a hospital. Once inside, they handcuffed her wrists to the bed and shackled her ankles. Doctors at Montefiore Medical Center warned that the restraints were illegal in New York and posed serious risks for a woman in labor, but the officers said the department’s Patrol Guide required them to restrain her, superseding state law, according to a lawsuit filed on Thursday. The woman, then 27, struggled for nearly an hour in excruciating labor on Feb. 8 before the officers yielded and removed some of the restraints, according to the complaint filed in Federal District Court in Manhattan. She delivered the baby with her right hand still cuffed to the hospital bed. The woman, who asked the court for anonymity, saying the experience had humiliated and traumatized her and had left her unable to tell her family, was identified only as Jane Doe in court papers.

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ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: WE HAD THE DOG AND THE KIDS SO WE FLIPPED A COIN

A man and woman admit in court they drove from Arizona to Wyoming with two children in the trunk of their car. Sixty-three-year-old Michael J. Fee and 31-year-old Amber L. Freudenstein each pleaded guilty Thursday to two misdemeanor counts of child endangerment. The Casper Star-Tribune reports Circuit Judge Steven Brown sentenced each to 30 days in jail. Fee is from Peoria, Arizona, and Freudenstein is from Tempe, Arizona. Sheriff’s officials say a third party told them the children reported riding in the trunk for much of the 900-mile drive while two German shepherds sat in the back seat. Fee said in court there was not enough room for everyone so the children were relegated to the trunk. Court documents show the children are about 6 and 10 years old.

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: CHEESECAKE GIVEAWAY TURNS UGLY

A large-scale cheesecake giveaway clogged not only arteries but the roads surrounding a Virginia restaurant, where one person was taken to a hospital and faces a disorderly conduct charge. Arlington County police say they received calls Wednesday about traffic disruptions as a Cheesecake Factory restaurant in Clarendon was participating in a national giveaway of 40,000 cheesecake slices in conjunction with a food delivery service. Police spokeswoman Ashley Savage says nearby roads were jammed and would-be delivery drivers were double-parked. A spokesperson for DoorDash says the food delivery company is aware of the incident and cooperating with local law enforcement. One individual refused police commands to leave the restaurant and resisted efforts at removal. Savage says the individual requested medical attention after the altercation and was taken to a hospital.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: KEEP YOUR SHIRT ON COPPER. I’LL BE IN LATER.

Police departments have been using Facebook to find (and roast) criminals for quite some time, but we’re betting the Richland WA Police Department had no idea they’d be creating viral content this past Wednesday. Their social media posted one of their usual ‘Wanted Wednesday’ calls for action, and to their surprise, the perp himself replied. Anthony Akers, wanted for “failure to comply” replied to the post telling them to “calm down, im going to turn myself in” (sic). That’s when the fun started. After a few very chatty posts and some unfulfilled promises, Akers did in fact turn himself in – but not before posting a photo of the process. We hope he has a fun time behind bars, and maybe accss to Facebook. We could use a little more of his antics in our lives.

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