Round One
Boner Candidate #1: DAMP PANTIES MUST BE DRIED
When it comes to airplane travel, there are certain behaviors that are generally frowned upon, like taking off your shoes and socks, doing yoga in the aisle, or eating smelly foods. But sometimes a person does something on a plane no one is expecting, as was the case when one woman was caught literally airing out her dirty laundry. The woman was traveling with Ural Airlines from Antalya, Turkey, to Moscow, Russia, when she was recorded holding a pair of white cotton underwear over her head up to the air vent to dry them off. A fellow passenger on the flight told The Sun that the woman didn’t seem even remotely embarrassed as she held the underwear to the vent for at least 20 minutes. “Everybody was looking with interest and confusion, but everybody remained silent,” the passenger told the publication.
Boner Candidate #2: IF YOU TRY TO TALK TO YOUR LEGISLATOR HE MAY HAVE YOU ARRESTED
An Idaho Republican state senator has been labeled a “bully” after ranting at college students who traveled hundreds of miles to discuss a birth control bill with lawmakers. State Sen. Dan Foreman also has been slapped with an ethics complaint for an incendiary follow-up tweet sent from an account allegedly associated with him. The tense exchange between Foreman and about a dozen University of Idaho students was captured on camera Monday. Video circulating on social media shows Foreman forcefully pointing his finger and belligerently saying “abortion is murder” to the students, who say they didn’t come to discuss abortion at all. Foreman’s diatribe was “unhinged,” said Paul Dillon, public affairs director of Planned Parenthood of Greater Washington and North Idaho, which is affiliated with the student group. “Even if you disagree with what we have to say, there’s no excuse for that kind behavior. He was being a bully,” Dillon told AP.
Boner Candidate #3: NORTH KOREAN OLYMPIAN DICK MOVE
North Korean speed skater tries to trip Japanese opponent from sports
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Round Two
Boner Candidate #1: WE COULD LOOK AT GUN LAWS OR WE COULD DO THIS.
A proposed state law is looking to establish monetary fines and community service as punishment for people who get caught sagging their pants in South Carolina. The bill would make it unlawful for a person to appear in public wearing “his” pants sagging more than three inches below the “crest of his ileum” (the top of his hips), thus exposing skin or undergarments. Violations would be a “noncriminal offense,” the proposal says, but violators would be subject to fines. On the first offense, a person could be given a fine of up to $25. On the second, the fine would be up to three hours of community service and a $50 fine, or both.
Boner Candidate #2: THEY DON’T FEEL GOOD
The number of new HIV cases reported in the Philippines has surged over the last few years, according the country’s health agency. In 2007, fewer than 400 new cases were reported; in 2017, more than 11,000 new cases were identified. The country had the fastest-growing HIV epidemic in the Asia-Pacific region, according to UNAIDS last year. At a time like this, the country’s leader could encourage safer sex, to prevent further sexually transmitted infections. Or he could do what Filipino President Rodrigo Duterte did last week — and urge his citizens to forgo condoms during intercourse because “they don’t feel good.” The subject arose during a characteristically bizarre digression in a speech to Filipino workers back just from Kuwait. Hundreds of Filipino workers in Kuwait have accepted the Philippines’ offer of a free flight home after a Filipino woman’s body was found in a freezer of her employer’s home in the Gulf state.
Boner Candidate #3: FART ATTACK
Austrian police later boarded the Transavia Airlines flight after it was forced to make an emergency landing in Vienna – Representational image Reuters. A low-cost Dutch airliner flying from Dubai to Amsterdam had to be diverted and was forced to make an emergency landing in Vienna after a fight between passengers broke out in mid-air. The reason for the altercation: one of the passengers refused to stop farting. The pilot of the Transavia Airlines flight decided to make the unscheduled stop in Austria after things got a little out of hand during the journey. The Daily Mail, quoting Dutch news outlet De Telegraaf, reported that two Dutchmen objected when a flatulent co-passenger seated next to them kept breaking wind loudly. The two men pleaded with him to stop and complained to the flight crew as well. However, the passenger continued to fart despite several requests from passengers and the crew. It is still unclear whether he was suffering from some sort of a medical condition.
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