Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for July 23rd, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: I DIDN’T MEAN FOR HER TO ACTUALLY SEND DRUGS.

Sara Elizabeth Russell was arrested in North Texas for allegedly smuggling drugs into a correctional facility. A Katy woman was arrested in Wichita County on Thursday after she allegedly tried mailing meth to a high-profile Conroe double murderer in a North Texas prison, according to local reports. Sara Elizabeth Russell was jailed Thursday and held on $10,000 bond after an Allred Unit mailroom worker spotted an unexpected bulge disguising a powdery packet stashed in an incoming card, according to KFDX.

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Boner Candidate #2: PLEASE UTAH, CAN’T WE BE BETTER THAN THIS?

Police are asking for the public’s help in tracking down whoever changed the message on the sign at a Popeyes’ restaurant to a racial slur. The manager of the West Jordan location said he discovered the message on their marquee Thursday morning. West Jordan police believe the message was changed after the business closed Wednesday night. “The sign is double-sided, so they had some lettering on one side that said ‘now hiring’ and then on the other side it said, ‘now hiring for day shift and nights’ and so they took some of the letters off one side of the sign and put it on the other to make the racial slur comment,” said officer Jennifer Worthen with the West Jordan Police Department.

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Boner Candidate #3: HOLD THAT PLANE.

An Ohio man who called in a bomb threat to Cincinnati/Northern Kentucky International Airport so he would avoid missing his flight was sentenced Thursday to four months in prison and ordered to pay a fine. Dana Carter of Dayton made a series of calls to the airport claiming there was a bomb on a Dallas, Texas-bound United Airlines flight in October. The 40-year-old allegedly made the false reports because he was worried he was going to miss his flight. The original flight ended up being canceled because of the threat and Carter was placed on another flight for Dallas less than two hours later, the Dayton Daily News reported.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: THEY’VE STOLEN MY HOME.

A trailer was stolen from a hotel parking lot while a man was staying there during his journey across the country. “This is a huge setback, it’s a massive set back,” said Joe Stone. Stone suffered a permanent spinal cord injury at the C7 level in 2010. Stone is an incomplete quadriplegic, which means he is paralyzed from the chest down and has impairment in both of his hands. Now Joe’s journey is on hold after thieves took off with his custom made camper and everything inside. He was out soaring above the Salt Lake Valley and when he got back to his hotel in Sandy his camper was nowhere to be found.

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Boner Candidate #2: WHY DO YOU NEED THIS MEDICATION

Hilde Hall says she went straight from her doctor’s office in April to a CVS pharmacy in her Phoenix suburb, eager to fill her first hormone therapy prescription. The treatment would spur physical changes in Hall’s body that would reflect her identity as a transgender woman, she said. “I was finally going to start seeing my body reflect my gender identity and the woman I’ve always known myself to be,” she said. Her elation quickly turned to anxiety when the pharmacist refused to fill her prescription and humiliated her in front of other customers, she said. Hall said she called the CVS customer service line twice. When no one addressed her concerns, she decided to file a complaint with the Arizona State Board of Pharmacy on Thursday.

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Boner Candidate #3: THEY’LL NEVER LOOK HERE

Was this man’s hiding attempt a washout? Washington state authorities took to Facebook this weekend, where they shared an image of a suspect who they said hid out in a dryer. “The adult version of hide and seek never turns out well for anyone,” Spokane police said. “What is depicted in this body camera footage frame is the lengths that some suspects will go through to avoid police.” Authorities explained that they “were working on a tip from our Domestic Violence Unit that an offender may go back to the victims home, thus be in violation of a protection order [sic].” Spokane police said the suspect went indoors and refused to emerge.

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