Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for June 18th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1:IF YOU TRY TO PET A LION, IT WON’T GO WELL.

The questionable decision was made in South Africa by an un-identified holiday-maker who stuck his arm out of a jeep to stroke the big cat. Problem is, this cat definitely didn’t like it. The pride of lions seemed to be using the jeep’s shadow to avoid the baking sun, when the man decides to disturbs the leader’s slumber. As the lion turns around, the rest of the party plead for him to shut the window, but it gets jammed. It was a struggle to get the window closed. The footage was posted on YouTube page Wildlife Sightings, along with a warning to never to touch wild animals. South African safari ranger Naas Smit said: ‘Only those who work in the wild know the speed of a lion and it could have torn the arm off the person touching it.

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Boner Candidate #2: SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE A TALK WITH CITY PLANNING.

Boner Candidate #3: DON’T TELL ME YOU CAN’T MOVE. SIT UP!

An emergency room physician has been suspended after a video of her mocking a patient claiming to be suffering from an anxiety attack was posted to Facebook, according to the San Francisco Chronicle.In the video, Dr. Beth Keegstra, of El Camino Hospital in Los Gatos, is seen doubting Samuel Bardwell’s account of what happened to him, saying, “You are the least sick of all the people who are here, who are dying. So you put your head up. Don’t try to tell me you can’t move. Come on. Sit up.” She tries to force Bardwell to sit up by pulling at his arm, even though he clearly tells her that he is unable to. “You want us to wheel you to tour house in a gurney?,” she asks him.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: THIS VEST IS STAB PROOF; OR NOT.

A British man who believed he was wearing a “stab-proof vest” died last summer after he took a knife to his own chest, local newspaper Teesside Gazette reported Saturday, citing an investigation into his death. Jordan Easton, 22, of Thornaby, reportedly was in a friend’s kitchen on Aug. 23, 2017, when he stabbed himself. “While in the kitchen, he took hold a knife to demonstrate it was stab-proof and sadly realized it wasn’t the case,” assistant coroner Karin Welsh said during a court hearing. Easton reportedly was rushed to the hospital, where he died. The newspaper reported that while his injuries were self-inflicted, there was no evidence that proved Easton purposely tried to harm himself. The man’s mother, Alison Price, said in court that Easton stabbing himself was “out of character,” and added she “can’t absorb it.”

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Boner Candidate #2:FART SPRAY REVENGE

The bitter divorce battle between billionaire bond king Bill Gross and his ex-wife is beginning to stink — like vomit, flatulence and dead fish. The California moneyman, who lost his beloved 13,819- square-foot Laguna Beach home to his ex-wife in the break-up, used foul-smelling sprays to leave the place a stinking mess — and placed dead fish in the air vents, a “disgusted” Sue Gross claimed in court papers last week. Mrs. Gross, who won a temporary restraining order against Bill last week, has the evidence of his foul play — empty spray bottles in the trash cans, court papers allege. The foul-smelling sprays Bill Gross used on the home he lost to his ex-wife.California Court Filings. Bill Gross left the home, worth as much as $36 million, “in a state of utter chaos and disrepair,” court papers filed in a Los Angeles state court claim.

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Boner Candidate #3:COME ON! WHAT’S A COUPLE OF TOES.

In a bizarre criminal case, an Upper Hutt man has been charged with stealing two human toes from an exhibition displaying human corpses and organs. The 28-year-old appeared in the Auckland District Court today before a Community Magistrate charged with stealing two deceased human toes from the Body Worlds Vital exhibition in Auckland on May 4.The toes, which have been returned to the exhibition, are valued at $5500, according to court documents. The man, who has interim name suppression, is also charged with improperly interfering with the dead body of an unknown person. A warrant for his arrest had been issued after he failed to appear earlier in the day but was later withdrawn.

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