Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for May 4th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: RACISM IN SO MANY FORMS

*Yes, all these articles are one Boner Candidate*

Russell Cordova says during a recent windstorm his kid’s trampoline blew into his neighbor’s backyard and they’re refusing to give it back. Cordova says his neighbors even yelled at his wife when she asked for is back. “It blows me away. I don’t understand what the motive is for them keeping our trampoline,” he told CBS4’s Dominic Garcia.

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An 80-year-old white man is being investigated for a hate crime after he was filmed physically attacking, and unleashing a racist tirade at a much younger black woman – all because she didn’t park her car perfectly, according to reports. “You don’t belong (unintelligible)! Go back to South LA! Shut your f–king ugly, n—-r mouth. You’re a n—-r!” the unhinged geezer bellows in the video, which Enrique Conde, a student at Santa Monica College, shot in a school parking lot.

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Federal agents are investigating an assault in which a Muslim student in Missouri was struck and knocked down the stairs on “Punish a Muslim day.” The incident on Kansas City’s Metropolitan Community College is being probed as a “possible hate crime,” the Kansas City Star reported. FBI spokeswoman Bridget Patton said Wednesday the agency looked into all “logical leads” but has been unable to nab the culprit in the April 3 attack. A $10,000 reward is being offered for any information leading to an arrest. The female student, who has not been identified, said she was leaving class last month when she heard a male voice make a derogatory statement.

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An IHOP restaurant in Missouri reportedly used the N-word to refer to a black teen on her receipt — then sent her a $10 gift card as an apology.  Maya Thomas, 19, received the offensive receipt when she picked up her take-out order April 13 from the Grandview establishment, the Kansas City Star reported. “She seemed distraught and upset when she showed it to me,” her mom, who spoke on her behalf, told the newspaper. “And of course it got me pissed.”

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Boner Candidate #2:WE VOTED HIM “MOST ACCIDENT PRONE.”

An Illinois high school is reprinting yearbooks that mocked a partially paralyzed senior who is a wheelchair athlete as “most accident prone.” Chauncey Wulf, who was partially paralyzed in a car accident at age 4, is set to sign a letter of intent next week to play wheelchair basketball for Southwest Minnesota State University. Wulf said he wasn’t aware of the designation, voted for by students, until the yearbook was printed and wasn’t asked if it was OK. Then the teasing started, he said, and didn’t stop, even after he said he didn’t like the listing.

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Boner Candidate #3: THEY FINALLY CAUGHT THE POOPER-INTENDENT.

The Kenilworth school superintendent charged Monday with defecating in public was caught in the act at the Holmdel High School football field and track after surveillance was set up due to human feces being found “on a daily basis,” police said. Thomas Tramaglini, 42, lives about 3 miles from Holmdel High School in neighboring Aberdeen. He was running at the track on the athletic fields at 5:50 a.m. before he was arrested. Track coaches and staff at Holmdel High School told the district’s resource officer that they found human feces on or near the football field and track daily, Holmdel police said in a statement Thursday.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: A CLEAR VIOLATION OF POLICY….YA THINK?

A Miami police officer was suspended with pay Thursday after a Facebook video showed a surrendering auto theft suspect being kicked in the head. The Miami Herald reports that Police Chief Jorge Colina announced that Officer Mario Figueroa has been relieved of duty as the video “depicts a clear violation of policy.” The 51-second video posted Thursday morning by Lisa Harrell shows the 31-year-old suspect, David Suazo, lying face down on the ground with an officer standing over him. That officer gets on his back and handcuffs him. Suazo doesn’t appear to be struggling. Just after the second handcuff is secured, an officer identified as Figueroa runs in and kicks Suazo in the head. That officer then turns around and dives on Suazo’s head.

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Boner Candidate #2: THEY ALWAYS SAID “HAVE IT YOUR WAY”

An elderly man in Troy, N.Y., has been charged with criminal mischief after he was caught pruning the trees at his local Burger King. Henry Crobok, 79, was reportedly caught in the act on Sunday by a Burger King employee, who came out of the store to find out why Crobok was trimming tree branches. Crobok tod him the branches “were blocking his view of deer located in the field behind the Burger King,” according to the Times Union. Crobok fled before police arrived, though he was found sitting in a parked car at a nearby Dunkin’ Donuts shortly thereafter. Police subsequently ticketed Crobok before he was released.

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Boner Candidate #3: I PUT HIM IN THE TUB AND NOW HE STINKS.

Dwight Shotts and Anthony Cline Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department A man in Indiana told a 911 dispatcher he fatally shot a man and left him in his bathtub for a week, saying “there’s a guy dead in my house.” Dwight Shotts, 42, was arrested Monday after he called 911 and confessed to killing Anthony Cline, a missing 35-year-old man whose truck was found abandoned about a block from Shotts’ home, WTXF reports“What’s going on today?” a dispatcher asked Shotts.  “Well, this is a rough one,” he replied, according to a transcript of the call obtained by the station. “I don’t know how I’m gonna explain it. There’s a guy dead in my house.” Shotts then admitted that there had been an “altercation” in the home.

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