Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for November 13th, 2018

ROUND ONE

BONER CANDIDATE #1: JUST THE TIP

A Florida man suffered a gruesome injury late Friday when police said his neighbor bit off one of his fingertips while drinking at a campsite in Big Pine Key, the Miami Herald reported. All that was left of the fingertip was a protruding bone, the report said. Doctors at a nearby hospital tried in vain to reattach the digit. Aurelio Rodriguez, 54, was found covered in blood, Local 10 reported. He was arrested and charged with aggravated battery. Police said the weapon used in the alleged attack was the “suspect’s mouth.” The alleged attack occurred after Rodriguez was joined by a couple who brought a bottle of tequila, the Herald said. The couple reportedly said they noticed Rodriguez had been drinking and was acting “rudely.” At one point, he reportedly fell.

BONER CANDIDATE #2: BUT I USE FACEBOOK FOR EVERYTHING

The Rapid City Police Department said at least one person a day reports a crime through facebook messager instead of calling 9-11. But the assistant Chief of police wants to stress the fact that their social media accounts are not connected to dispatch. “There was one that stuck out to me where somebody was trying to report an assault that was happening at their neighbor’s house, and since there wasn’t an immediate response by law enforcement because of the social media platform they were then prompted to call 9-11,” the Assistant Chief of police said. There is an automated response only after 5 o’clock that reads, “If this is an emergency call 9-1-1” but during working hours people aren’t always aware of what this service should be used for.
Facebook and Twitter messaging should only be utilized for non-emergency situations like leaving an anonymous tip about a neighborhood drug dealer or complimenting an officer on their service.

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BONER CANDIDATE #3: MAYBE THIS IS ONE TIME A TEACHER SHOULD GIVE A STUDENT A GOOD BEAT DOWN

A high school music teacher who was caught on video repeatedly punching a 14-year-old student inside a classroom got a GoFundMe page set up for him by a fellow school district employee to assist with legal fees — and as of Friday morning the funds topped $170,000. “This is Marston Riley, and I’m letting you know that this GoFundMe page is legit,” Riley, the teacher in question, said in a video posted on the GoFundMe page. “I want to thank Cecilia Diaz for setting it up for me, and I want to thank you for supporting me.” Riley, 64, was arrested Nov. 2 on suspicion of child abuse and causing great bodily injury on a child, KTLA-TV reported, after the incident at Maywood Academy High School, which is in the Los Angeles County school district. All the students who spoke to KTLA Friday night were sympathetic to Riley and said the student in the video pushed him too far. In fact, one student told the station it was a setup.

ROUND TWO

BONER CANDIDATE #1: BUT I JUST LOVE THE THIN MINTS AND THE SAMOAS AND THE DOSI DOES

An Ohio woman’s apparent love for Girl Scout cookies led to her arrest. Noel Hines allegedly stole a “large order of Girl Scout cookies” in March that was intended for a local North College Hill troop, officials with the North College Hill Police Department wrote on Facebook this week. The woman never returned the cookies or paid for the order, which totaled more than $1,600, according to authorities. Following “multiple” attempts over the past six months to contact Hines about the cookies, authorities filed theft charges against the woman. On Tuesday, police arrested Hines while she was at the North College Hill Mayors Court for “unrelated charges,” according to the North College Hill Police Department, which joked: “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”

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BONER CANDIDATE #2: SHOE TAPING IS NOT WHO WE ARE

North Carolina mom Jessica Hayes took to Facebook after two daycare workers taped her 17-month-old daughter’s shoes to her feet. The tape was wrapped so tightly that the toddler’s feet were left bruised and swollen, a shocking sight that Hayes shared photos of on social media on May 16, blasting Pleasant Hill Day Care for the incident. “I am upset that this happened to my child as someone was clearly upset that she was learning take her shoes off and done it out of being aggravated,” she captioned the photos. “This was also not just her shoes being taped up it was around her ankle. My 17-month-old child was unable to say anything.” And Hayes’ daughter wasn’t the only toddler subject to taping at the Elkin, N.C. daycare. Another parent commented that the same thing happened to her child that day. However, she stressed that the daycare was handling it, claiming, “They are just as upset as the parents and devastated that this happened.”

BONER CANDIDATE #3: ARE YOU SURE I DON’T LIVE HERE?

An intoxicated off-duty police officer in Ohio was arrested in an alleged burglary after mistakenly entering a home he thought was his, police said. Torrence Edward Laprath, who was allegedly inebriated at the time, mistook the residence for his own, a police official told the Dayton Daily News. “Officer T. Laprath has been a Dayton Police Officer for 11 years. He is currently on unpaid administrative leave,” said police spokeswoman Cara Zinski-Neace in a statement Monday. “The criminal case against him will move forward with detectives meeting with the Montgomery County Prosecutor’s Office regarding possible charges. There is also an active administrative investigation being conducted by the Dayton Police Department’s Professional Standards Bureau,” according to Zinski-Neace.

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