ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: AFTER THE SIGN NOT THE PERSON DOESN’T MAKE IT OKAY.
A New York professor has been arrested after she was caught on camera ripping out Republican yard signs from someone else’s lawn. Laura Ebert, an economics professor at the State University of New York (SUNY) at New Paltz, was charged with misdemeanor larceny for stealing signs supporting Republican candidates John Faso and Marc Molinaro, at the home of Patrick and Lisa McGovern in Rosendale, eight miles from the school. Patrick noticed the signs were missing, so he reviewed the footage, which showed the public university professor pulling up to the signs, hopping out of her truck, pulling the signs out of the ground, and putting them in the bed of her truck on Oct. 30. “It’s crazy in our area lately. It’s never been like this,” Lisa, a registered independent, told Fox News. “People are getting over-emotional.”
BONER CANDIDATE #2: SOME OF OUR SCHOOL TEACHERS ARE GETTING AWAY IT
A new state audit sheds light on local schools failing to report inappropriate conduct of educators to state licensing officials, which means problem educators avoid discipline and can readily move to other schools. “Because these cases were not reported, the Utah State Board of Education’s ability to manage and control educator licensure is diminished, and some educators have likely avoided USBE‐imposed discipline,” says a performance audit by the Office of the State Auditor released Wednesday. Auditors discovered 58 cases of alleged educator misconduct that, based on available documentation, “should have been reported to UPPAC for investigation as required by law.”
BONER CANDIDATE #3: I DON’T THINK YOU DO “HEART” JESUS.
A Virginia reverend is in disbelief after someone broke into his church, ripped Bibles, spray-painted walls, and smashed a glass window.
For 28 years, Ironbridge Church has served the community. On Tuesday it was a polling location for Election Day. “So apparently our electronic system did not work properly to re-lock one of the doors that was unlocked for the polling,” said Rev. Dennis Green. Around 11:30 Tuesday night, surveillance cameras caught a male suspect make his way to the unlocked door, walked in and grabbed a couple of Bibles. “Came through, just throwing pages, ripping and throwing them out as he came through,” Green told WTVR. Police said the incident does not appear to be random. They said the suspect was wearing and a black hat that appeared to say “I 
Jesus.”
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: YOU DON’T WANT ME JUDGING ANYMORE? OKAY, THIS IS WHAT YOU GET.
A Republican judge released nearly every juvenile defendant who appeared before him the morning after he lost his re-election campaign in the US midterms. Glenn Devlin reportedly said it was “what the voters wanted” to justify his actions. In court, state prosecutors raised concerns over the releases of the juveniles, who were accused of everything from misdemeanours to violent crimes, The Houston Chronicle reported. “We oppose the wholesale release of violent offenders at any age. This could endanger the public,” Harris County district attorney Kim Ogg said in a statement. Prosecutors said at least seven young offenders were released, including four facing aggravated robbery charges. Public defender Steven Halpert said he saw only one kept in detention. “He was releasing everybody,” Mr Halpert told the newspaper. “Apparently he was saying that’s what the voters wanted.”
BONER CANDIDATE #2: CLAYTON HICKEY, YOU ARE A RACIST AND YOU ARE STUPID
A hospital worker from Mississippi went viral this week — and is now jobless — thanks to his outfit choice on Election Day. Clayton Hickey, of Olive Branch, thought it would be a good idea to wear a Confederate flag T-shirt with a noose and the words “Mississippi Justice” emblazoned on the front. His picture was taken at the polls on Tuesday and posted online for all to see. Social media users called Hickey out for the move, with many blasting him as racist. The former cop had been wrongly identified as an election worker at first before local media outlets revealed his actual occupation. “Clayton Hickey needs to be fired immediately,” wrote one Twitter user in response. “He cannot be trusted to provide care to ALL patients of @RegOneHealthFDN, nor should he be able to be hired by anyone else in a role that is responsible for the well-being of others.”
BONER CANDIDATE #3: GIVE THE LITTLE CREEP PERMANENT DETENTION
A video showing a Baltimore high school student punching a teacher in the face has been viewed more than 60,000 times on Instagram.
News outlets report the video posted Wednesday afternoon shows the student hitting the teacher at Frederick Douglass High School. The video appears to show two students bickering while standing close to the teacher, and one student backs away while the other hits the teacher. The teacher recoils and the student who hit her leaves the classroom. She doesn’t retaliate, but follows him out the door. City Public Schools spokeswoman Edie House Foster says in a statement that the student struck the teacher following a verbal exchange. She says administrators are investigating and will apply disciplinary action in accordance with the school system’s code of conduct.
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