ROUND ONE
BONER CANDIDATE #1: WORST MAID EVER
BONER CANDIDATE #2: LIKE FATHER LIKE SON
Amid increasing tension over the sexual assault allegations against Supreme Court nominee Brett M. Kavanaugh, Donald Trump Jr. said he is more concerned for his sons than for his daughters. Looking at his children’s futures, he seemed to be worried that perhaps one day, his sons might face false accusations of sexual misconduct. “I’ve got boys and I’ve got girls,” he told the British tabloid, “and when I see what’s going on right now, it’s scary.” When asked whether he was more worried about his sons or daughters, he said, “Right now, I’d say my sons.” “The other problem,” he added, “is that for people who are real victims of these things, when it is so obviously political in cases like this, it really diminishes the real claims.”
BONER CANDIDATE #3: IT’S CHEAP TO STACK ‘EM DEEP
Police in Connecticut say Park Cemetery in Bridgeport left the grounds littered with human bones and pieces of casket as part of an alleged scheme to rebury the dead. Detectives Jorge Cintron and Kimberly Biehn testified Tuesday that dozens of headstones, some dating back to the 1800s, have been moved so that the newly dead could be buried in plots stacked on old graves. The Connecticut Post reports cemetery manager Dale LaPrade did not respond to a subpoena to show up at the hearing and did not return calls. Cintron says a grave digger told him that he had been ordered by LaPrade to throw old bones and caskets away to make room for new graves.
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ROUND TWO
BONER CANDIDATE #1: LET’S ALL USE OUR JAZZ HANDS
Not everyone is jazzed about this new rule at the University of Manchester. The school’s student union has banned clapping, whooping and cheering at their events — suggesting the use of “jazz hands” instead. “I think a lot of time, I’ve seen that clapping, whooping, talking over each other, loud noises, encourages an atmosphere that is not as respectful as it could be,” explained student union officer Sara Khan to the BBC. Traditional clapping can be triggering for students with autism, sensory issues or deafness, she said. Instead of clapping, students attending panels, debates and talks will need to express their appreciation with the sign language equivalent — a silent wave of the hand.
BONER CANDIDATE #2: HOW MUCH FOR THE LITTLE GIRL
A man tried to buy an 8-year-old girl from her mother at a Florida Walmart for $200,000, police said. Hellmuth Kolb, 81, is charged with false imprisonment and battery, according to WESH-TV. Police said Kolb sat down on a bench at a Walmart in Port Orange Friday, then tried to grab and kiss the girl. He then allegedly tried to buy the 8-year-old three different times, according to the Orlando Sentinel. The mother, who later told police that Kolb made her “extremely uncomfortable,” immediately took her daughter out of the store and called police. Kolb fled the Walmart, but police used the store’s security video and credit card records to find him. He was booked at the Volusia County Jail on Saturday. Police said there are other reports of similar incidents and investigators are looking into other cases in Port Orange and Daytona Beach.
BONER CANDIDATE #3: CARRY IT YOURSELF PREGGO
A pregnant mother claims she was forced to carry over £200 of shopping up two flights of stairs after her Asda delivery driver refused to help.Then as an apology, Amy Natasha Botten, 20, from Feltham, west London, who is 20 weeks pregnant says Asda sent her a bottle of Champagne. She was so shocked by her treatment during her food delivery on Saturday she started filming and can be heard clearly out of breath, as her young son cries in the background. Then as an apology, Amy Natasha Botten, 20, from Feltham, west London, who is 20 weeks pregnant says Asda sent her a bottle of Champagne. The driver empties items onto the ground floor in her building saying the food was not in shopping bags because ‘he had run out’ Amy said. In the clip, she says: ‘Can you not help me with this last little bit because my little boy is up there crying his eyes out?’ But he responds: ‘I’d rather not.’
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