Boner of the Day

Boner (Round One and Two) for September 12th, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: LISTEN, CHICO WAS GETTING PRETTY CLOSE TO THE END ANYWAY.

Kaylee Belanger’s Facebook post begins with a trigger warning: What follows is the lengthy tale of a dog that was allegedly buried alive, rescued, and euthanized in Massachusetts. The post was made Sunday night, hours after Belanger called the Northbridge Police Department to report that she found the elderly Shih Tzu buried alive in the woods. She ended up there thanks to Richard Piquard, the 24-year-old Whitinsville man who has been charged with animal cruelty in the case. She writes that on Sunday morning Piquard messaged her to say his dog Chico had died the night before, which she found suspicious as he has been trying to unload the animal. She says she convinced him to tell her where Chico had been buried so she could retrieve the body and have the animal cremated. After some fruitless searching behind Piquard’s home, a noise was heard, and she says digging ultimately revealed a breathing Chico buried under 3 feet of dirt and a rock.

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Boner Candidate #2: NO MORE THAN 3 LICKS SHOULD BE GIVEN

A school in Hephzibah, Georgia, is drawing national attention after sending consent forms to parents informing them of a new policy of using paddling as a form of punishment for students, CBS affiliate WRDW-TV reports. The Georgia School of Innovation and the Classics (GSIC), a kindergarten-through-9th-grade charter school, is bringing back paddling — spanking a child on the behind with a wooden board — as a form of discipline. Superintendent Jody Boulineau told WRDW that about 100 parents sent back the forms, and one-third gave the school consent to paddle their child.  “In this school, we take discipline very seriously,” the superintendent said. “There was a time where corporal punishment was kind of the norm in school and you didn’t have the problems that you have.”

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Boner Candidate #3: THANKS FOR MAKING OUR JOB EASIER.

Police say a man was injured after his gun went off while he was fleeing from officers on Saturday in Delaware County. According to the Upland Borough Police Department, an officer pulled over a white Lincoln Sedan for an expired inspection. After approaching the car the officer smelled marijuana, police say, and told both people inside the car to provide identification and step out of the vehicle. Police say that’s when one of the men, 20-year-old Chester resident Keon Williams, fled the scene on foot. Officers were in pursuit when they say Williams pulled a semi-automatic firearm from his waistband, causing it to fire. The bullet hit Williams in his lower body. Police took Williams into custody and then sent him to the hospital for treatment of non-life-threatening injuries. Investigators say the gun Williams was carrying had been reported stolen. Williams was also in possession of drugs, drug paraphernalia, and more than $2,300 in cash.

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Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: I KNOW I SAID NO TRUMP BONERS, BUT…..

The president’s commemoration of a national tragedy began with an arrival that was less than solemn. President Donald Trump’s commemoration of the Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks didn’t exactly go smoothly. Early in the day, he was roasted on Twitter for a strangely exclamatory tweet simply noting the passage of time: It didn’t get much better from there. As he arrived at a memorial ceremony in Pennsylvania, he greeted supporters with a double fist pump:

A second image showed Trump giving a thumbs-up as he arrived at the Flight 93 National Memorial’s visitor center: And in a third image, tweeted by Trump, the president claimed he was departing the White House for the memorial service. But sharp-eyed viewers noted that he appeared to have recycled an old image. 

Boner Candidate #2: IT SEEMS SHE HAS A PATTERN

People who know Ashley Bemis of San Clemente, California, said she faked pregnancies in the past. A Southern California woman is being investigated for allegedly trying to scam people into giving her thousands of dollars’ worth of gifts she claimed would be distributed to firefighters battling a series of blazes. Ashley Bemis, a 28-year-old from San Clemente, hasn’t been charged, but investigators said she pretended she was married to a firefighter named Shane Goodman in order to receive $11,000 worth of donations in cash and gifts, including blankets, socks and food, according to The Los Angeles TimesProblem was, Goodman didn’t exist, even though Bemis made it seem as if he did on social media, according to “Inside Edition.”

Boner Candidate #3: WE SAW A PUBLIC NEED AND ATTEMPTED TO FILL IT.

Police have a mystery on their hands after at least three so-called crack pipe vending machines were installed on public property and there’s now a concern that more vending machines are out there. “Who in their right mind would even do something like that — to enable and to encourage somebody to do this?” said Tony Gallo, a Coram resident. Gallo is one of many concerned by the vending machines that have sprouted up across Suffolk County. “Did they really think they were gonna get away with this?” Gallo said. With a simple design, the blue vending machines were cemented into the ground in at least three locations in Suffolk County and claimed to contain “pens.”

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