Boners

Boner (Round One and Two) for September 21st, 2018

Round One

Boner Candidate #1: IT’S IN THE GLITTER GLUE; THE MIDDLE CLOUD WITH GLITTER GLUE.

Arrest and booking photos are provided by law enforcement officials. Arrest does not imply guilt, and criminal charges are merely accusations. A defendant is presumed innocent unless proven guilty and convicted. A sparkly scheme went south in August after the Hampton Sheriff’s Office intercepted three letters containing drugs concealed using glitter glue and crayons, according to a search warrant police filed in court. A Hampton detective overheard plans for the letters while monitoring an inmate phone call on Aug. 12, the warrant says.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: I’M GONNA SHOW THAT GYESER WHO IS BOSS

Yellowstone National Park officials have ticketed a man caught on video wandering close to Old Faithful geyser, where he risked burns from the boiling-hot water that erupts every hour or so. The man’s actions between eruptions startled a crowd of a couple hundred people at the park’s most famous attraction. At one point, he lay on the ground near the gurgling hole. “A bunch of the crowd thought he was going to jump. We didn’t know what was going to happen,” said Ashley Lemanski of Harbor Beach, Michigan, who shot the video Friday. The man appeared to urinate on the geyser while a park ranger repeatedly yelled at him to get to safety. Rangers caught up with him after he eventually walked back onto nearby boardwalks, Lemanski said.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: BARNACLES FOR BRAINS

Someone with barnacles for brains tossed a 4,000-pound whale inside a way-too-tiny dumpster — and video captures the moment the massive mammal bounces off the bin and rolls to the ground. The male juvenile minke whale was found floating Sunday around the Isle of Shoals, and washed ashore on Jenness Beach Monday morning, the Seacoast Science Center in Rye, New Hampshire told NBC 10 Boston. The 16-foot whale was found with entanglement wounds, and officials with the center, as well as the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, needed to move it for a necropsy, according to the report. Crews decided to place it inside a dumpster — but the one they picked was clearly too small, video shows.

Read More

Round Two

Boner Candidate #1: AND THERE HE IS, BENT OVER AND WINDING UP HIS HOSE.

Neighbors in Stuart, Florida, are irritated with their fellow resident who has been doing yard work in the nude. “I came out Sunday night to put the trash out, and I look over and he is bent over, winding up his hose, and I’m like that is my view of the neighborhood,” Melissa Ny, a neighbor, told WPBF-TV. “He works on his car, and he does it naked and everyone has called the police, he is just out there doing his yard work, whatever he needs to do outside, naked.” Another neighbor believes the man should have some respect for children who live in the area. “Kids catch the bus here. It’s wrong,” neighbor Charlie Estes told WPBF-TV. But police say they can’t do anything about it. As long as the man isn’t touching himself inappropriately, police can’t tell the man to put his clothes on because he is on his own property.

Read More

Boner Candidate #2: HE WASN’T RETURNING MY CALLS.

A Florida mom is accused of intentionally crashing into a pole with her toddler in the car to get her ex-boyfriend’s attention, authorities said. Breanna Bechtol, 21, was arrested Tuesday night after she allegedly drove her car off the road in Dade City and struck a pole, the Tampa Bay Times reported. Authorities said the 2-year-old girl was strapped into a car seat in the vehicle and didn’t suffer any injuries. The mom told officers that she didn’t want to hurt herself or the child, but rather “gain attention from her ex-boyfriend,” according to the police report.

Read More

Boner Candidate #3: FROM THE FLIGHT DECK; THIS IS YOUR PILOT, CAPTAIN KNUCKLEHEAD.

Passengers on a flight from hell began bleeding from their noses and ears when a knucklehead pilot “forgot” to flick a switch regulating cabin pressure, a report said. Jet Airways Flight 9W 697 from Mumbai to Jaipur made an about-face shortly after takeoff Thursday when the airplane lost pressure, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported. Video from inside the eerily calm cabin shows the oxygen masks being deployed and passengers slowly putting them on. “Panic situation,” wrote one person.

Read More


Subscribe to X96's News!

Get the latest music news, contests and flyaways, and more straight to your inbox with our weekly emails.

* indicates required
Comments
To Top